The chart below shows the percentage change in the share of international students among university graduates in different Canadian provinces between 2001 and 2006.
Sample Response
The chart shows changes in the share of international students who graduated from universities in different Canadian provinces over a period of 5 years.
In 2001, this share had a relatively narrow range, from 3% in Ontario to 7.0% in New Brunswick. Nova Scotia had the second highest proportion at 6.5%. Five years later, the figures for most provinces had risen, with the exception of Alberta. There, the figures fell by 1% to just over 4%.
By 2006, some parts of Canada experienced a considerable increase in their share of international graduates. Growth in this share was especially strong in the case of New Brunswick, where the figures rose from 7% to 12%. The largest growth occurred in British Columbia, where it more than doubled to 11%.
Over this five-year period, changes in the proportion of international graduates have been very uneven across the provinces of Canada. However, New Brunswick remained the province with the highest percentage overall.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Name exact years Original: over a period of 5 years Suggested revision: between 2001 and 2006 Why it matters: Using the stated years is more precise than giving only the duration.
- 2. Use concise range verb Original: had a relatively narrow range Suggested revision: ranged relatively narrowly Why it matters: The verb ranged expresses the spread directly and avoids a heavy noun phrase.
- 3. Use simple past Original: the figures for most provinces had risen Suggested revision: the percentages in most provinces rose Why it matters: The simple past is sufficient for a change between two stated historical years.
- 4. Use singular reference Original: figures Suggested revision: figure Why it matters: There is one percentage for Alberta in each year, so figure should be singular.
- 5. Use percentage points Original: by 1% Suggested revision: by about one percentage point Why it matters: A fall from roughly 5% to 4% is a one-percentage-point decrease, not a 1% decrease.
- 6. Name chart categories Original: some parts of Canada Suggested revision: some Canadian provinces Why it matters: The chart categories are provinces, so naming them directly is more precise.
- 7. Use singular figure Original: figures Suggested revision: figure Why it matters: The sentence tracks one province's share, so a singular reference is required.
- 8. Keep historical tense Original: changes in the proportion of international graduates have been very uneven Suggested revision: changes in the proportion of international graduates were very uneven Why it matters: The data period ended in 2006, so the simple past is appropriate.
- 9. Clarify the main trend Suggested revision: State that the share rose in every province except Alberta, with the largest increase in British Columbia. Why it matters: This gives the overview a clearer summary of the dominant pattern and its exception.
Suggested Rewrites
- over a period of 5 years between 2001 and 2006
- had a relatively narrow range ranged relatively narrowly
- the figures for most provinces had risen the percentages in most provinces rose
- figures figure
- by 1% by about one percentage point
- some parts of Canada some Canadian provinces
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response is concise, accurate, and well controlled, selecting the highest proportions, the broad rise across most provinces, Alberta's exception, and British Columbia's especially strong growth. Its main limitation is that the supporting detail is narrowly concentrated on a few provinces, leaving the middle group largely unillustrated. The best improvement would be to add one compact comparison covering Quebec, Manitoba, and Newfoundland and Labrador.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The report presents an accurate overview and skillfully selects the highest values, the general upward pattern, the sole decline, and the strongest increase.
Add a concise grouped comparison of the three omitted middle-ranking provinces to make coverage more complete.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information progresses smoothly from the initial range to major changes and a final overview, with effective paragraphing and cohesive reference.
Place the broad overview immediately after the introduction so the report's organizing pattern is established earlier.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is precise and flexible throughout, with natural language for proportions, growth, exceptions, and uneven change.
Further refine the report by varying repeated uses of 'share' and 'figures' where a precise alternative remains natural.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of sentence structures is used accurately, and the response maintains strong grammatical control throughout.
Maintain this control while adding one concise comparative sentence that coordinates several provinces without becoming overloaded.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The chart below shows the percentage change in the share of international students among university graduates in different Canadian provinces between 2001 and 2006.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.