The Table shows how many international students study in Canada and the united states by country of origin.
Sample Response
The Table shows how many international students study in Canada and the united states by country of origin. The tabular data depicts the information about the number of scholars and change in their percentage of enrolment from various nations who studied in abroad countries that is Canada and united states of America throughout 2002 and 2003.
Overall, it can be clearly seen that most of the pupils prefer to study in the united states of America. Indian students are the highest in number of foreigners to seek knowledge from American university whereas in Canada Chinese tutees are the more.
To begin with, In Canada, Chinese and U.S.A. scholars are almost the same in 2002 that is 5000 and 5400 respectively. Whereas, after one year, the involvement of Chinese students increase by 45% to reach the no.7850 and attenders of the U.S.A. only incline by 9% that, is 5450. Earlier Indian students were only 2100 in number, but the year after, 35% of more scholars enrolled and increased the no. to 2835.
Probing further, in 2002, 110,000 Chinese pupils were reported to be studying in America and the year after this number increased by 6% and reached the number 116,600. Moreover, the number of scholars from India seems to be declined from 2002 to 2003 by 9%, that is 200,000 to 182,000. The number from 31,000 in 2002 increased to 33,170 in 2003 for the Canadian scholar.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove wordiness Original: depicts the information about Suggested revision: shows Why it matters: The shorter verb expresses the same meaning clearly and naturally.
- 2. Clarify table measures Original: number of scholars and change in their percentage of enrolment Suggested revision: numbers of international students and percentage changes in enrolment Why it matters: This wording accurately identifies the counts and percentage changes in the table.
- 3. Use table terminology Original: from various nations Suggested revision: from different countries Why it matters: Countries matches the table's country-of-origin categories more precisely.
- 4. Fix abroad phrase Original: studied in abroad countries Suggested revision: studied abroad Why it matters: Abroad functions as an adverb and does not take the preposition in here.
- 5. Introduce examples clearly Original: that is Canada and united states of America Suggested revision: namely Canada and the United States Why it matters: Namely introduces the two countries directly and the proper name requires capitals.
- 6. Use precise time phrase Original: throughout Suggested revision: in Why it matters: The table reports values in two specific years rather than continuously throughout them.
- 7. Avoid unsupported preference Original: most of the pupils prefer to study in the united states of America Suggested revision: far more of the listed students studied in the United States Why it matters: The table shows substantially larger enrolment totals but does not measure personal preference.
- 8. Fix capitalization Original: In Suggested revision: in Why it matters: The preposition should not be capitalized after this introductory phrase.
- 9. Remove fragment marker Original: Whereas, after one year Suggested revision: After one year Why it matters: Whereas incorrectly turns the sentence into a fragment because no contrasting main clause follows.
- 10. Name the measure Original: involvement Suggested revision: number Why it matters: The table measures student numbers rather than involvement.
- 11. Use past tense Original: increase Suggested revision: increased Why it matters: Past tense is required for a change between 2002 and 2003.
- 12. Use natural noun Original: attenders of the U.S.A. Suggested revision: students from the USA Why it matters: This phrase clearly identifies the students' country of origin.
Suggested Rewrites
- depicts the information about shows
- number of scholars and change in their percentage of enrolment numbers of international students and percentage changes in enrolment
- from various nations from different countries
- studied in abroad countries studied abroad
- that is Canada and united states of America namely Canada and the United States
- throughout in
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response effectively organizes the information by destination and identifies the dominant origins in each country, with most of the later figures reported accurately. Its main limitation is imprecise language and recurring grammatical errors, compounded by reversing the 2002 China and USA figures for Canada. Prioritize precise data checking and use straightforward terms such as students, increased, and decreased in consistently accurate sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
A clear overview identifies the main contrasts and nearly all figures are accurate, though the 2002 China and USA values for Canada are reversed.
Check every country-value pairing and include the contrasting total changes of 17% in Canada and 2% in the USA.
Coherence and Cohesion
The overview and destination-based body paragraphs create clear progression, but some linking is mechanical or used in sentence fragments.
Use cohesive devices within complete sentences and make comparisons directly rather than beginning fragments with Whereas.
Lexical Resource
The response shows some range, but repeated forced synonyms and inaccurate collocations often make the wording unnatural.
Prefer precise, consistent terms such as students, enrolment, increased, and decreased instead of scholars, tutees, attenders, and incline.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex structures are attempted and meaning remains generally clear, but agreement, article, capitalization, punctuation, and verb-form errors are frequent.
Proofread each sentence for a finite verb, correct subject-verb agreement, and accurate articles before adding complex clauses.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The Table shows how many international students study in Canada and the united states by country of origin.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.