The graph below gives information about international tourist arrivals in five countries.
Sample Response
The graph shows the overall numbers of tourist arrivals in five countries between 1995 and 2010. In 1995 over 70 million tourists visited the United States, more than twice as many as the next most popular destination shown, France. However, between 2005 and 2010 there was a decrease of approximately 1,500,000 in the numbers going to the United States whereas there was an increase of nearly 20 million tourists visiting France. The result was that in 2010 the number of tourists arriving in the United States and France was almost equal at around 90 million each.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use a precise subject Original: overall numbers of tourist arrivals Suggested revision: number of international tourist arrivals Why it matters: The revision matches the chart's subject more precisely.
- 2. Match the plotted change Original: approximately 1,500,000 Suggested revision: approximately 2 million Why it matters: The US line falls from about 92 million to 90 million between 2005 and 2010.
- 3. Use natural chart language Original: the numbers going to the United States Suggested revision: arrivals to the United States Why it matters: This is a more concise and natural way to describe tourist arrivals.
- 4. Clarify the increase Original: there was an increase of nearly 20 million tourists visiting France Suggested revision: arrivals in France increased by nearly 20 million Why it matters: The revision makes the measured quantity the grammatical subject.
- 5. Sentence rewrite Original: The result was that in 2010 the number of tourists arriving in the United States and France was almost equal at around 90 million each. Suggested revision: As a result, in 2010, tourist arrivals in the United States and France were almost equal, at around 90 million each. Why it matters: The plural subject refers to two national figures and therefore requires 'were'.
- 6. Cover all five countries Suggested revision: Add the main changes for Malaysia, Brazil, and Egypt, noting Malaysia's substantial rise and the much lower totals for Brazil and Egypt. Why it matters: The response reports only the United States and France although the chart contains five countries.
- 7. Add a complete overview Suggested revision: Summarise that arrivals rose overall in all five countries, while France caught up with the initially dominant United States by 2010. Why it matters: A clear overview should cover the broad pattern across the whole chart.
Suggested Rewrites
- overall numbers of tourist arrivals number of international tourist arrivals
- approximately 1,500,000 approximately 2 million
- the numbers going to the United States arrivals to the United States
- there was an increase of nearly 20 million tourists visiting France arrivals in France increased by nearly 20 million
- The result was that in 2010 the number of tourists arriving in the United States and France was almost equal at around 90 million each. As a result, in 2010, tourist arrivals in the United States and France were almost equal, at around 90 million each.
- Cover all five countries Add the main changes for Malaysia, Brazil, and Egypt, noting Malaysia's substantial rise and the much lower totals for Brazil and Egypt.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response gives an accurate, concise comparison of the United States and France and handles complex comparative sentences confidently. Its central limitation is severe underdevelopment: at 98 words, it omits Brazil, Egypt, and Malaysia and provides no overview of the five-country picture. The priority is to add a clear overall trend and grouped comparisons covering the three omitted destinations while reaching the required length.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The figures and trends for the United States and France are accurately reported, but most of the visual information is omitted.
Add an overview and compare the growth patterns and final levels of Brazil, Egypt, and Malaysia in a response of at least 150 words.
Coherence and Cohesion
The short account moves logically from the opening description through a past comparison to the converging final figures.
Develop the report into an overview and grouped detail paragraphs so all five series can be compared coherently.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary for tourist numbers, change, and comparison is accurate, varied, and appropriately formal.
Broaden the trend language when adding the missing countries, using precise terms for gradual and substantial increases.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied complex structures with accurate comparison, subordination, agreement, and punctuation.
Sustain this control across a fuller report while varying the repeated constructions built around tourist numbers.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph below gives information about international tourist arrivals in five countries.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.