The charts below show the number of Japanese tourists travelling abroad between 1985 and 1995 and Australia's share of the Japanese tourist market.
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Sample Response
The bar chart presentsillustrates the number of Japanese tourists travelling abroad from 1985 to 1995 and the line graphline depicts Australia's share of the Japanese tourist market.
Overall, Deleteit is obvious that the number of Japanese tourists travelling abroad followed an overall upward trendwitnessed an upward trend Deletein general. The proportion of Australia's share of Japan's tourist marketJapan’s tourist market in Australia increased significantly in the given period.
Looking first at the bar chart, in 1985,In 1985, the number of tourists who travelled abroad stood at approximately 5 milliontravelling abroad was about 5 million, increasing to 11 million in 1990 before a decline to 10.5 million in 1991. SubsequentlyThen, the figurefigures rose considerably to over 15 million by 1995, reaching itstheir highest point.
When it comes to the market share captured by Australiaportion of Japan’s tourist market, it increased to 4.7% in 1988, before droppingwhich decreased to 4.1% in 1989, after which this figuretheir proportions surged to around 6.3% in 19936.2% in 1994 before decreasing to 6% in 19941995.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The report effectively highlights key trends and accurately reports data from both visual charts in a logically structured format. The main limitation is that the essay is slightly under the recommended minimum length, leading to a brief overview of some early details in the second chart. To improve, expand on the initial data points of the line chart to ensure fully developed coverage while maintaining word count.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
Key trends and major data points from both charts are presented accurately, though some initial figures are skipped.
Include starting values and initial changes for the second graph to provide more complete task coverage.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is organized logically into distinct paragraphs with clear overall progression and appropriate cohesive devices.
Vary referencing phrases slightly to connect transitions between key data points even more smoothly.
Lexical Resource
A good range of topic-appropriate vocabulary and change descriptors is used with strong control.
Incorporate additional synonyms for statistical terms to demonstrate a wider lexical flexibility.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The writing demonstrates a good variety of complex grammatical structures with high accuracy throughout.
Maintain this level of grammatical precision while extending sentences to cover more detailed comparisons.