The graph and table below show the average monthly rainfalls and average annual rainfalls for three towns in the district of Kona in Hawaii for a 30-year period (1971-2000).
Sample Response
The chart and table show the average monthly and annual rainfall for the towns of Kanaliu, Opihihale, and Holualoa from 1971 to 2000.
Average monthly rainfalls are usually higher from June to September and tend to be lower between October and May. However, rainfall can differ a good deal between towns, and these differences add up to distinctly different annual numbers.
Opihihale usually has the least rainfall but has slightly more (less than 2 cm difference) rainfall than the Holualoa around August, and slightly more than both towns for a time in November. In contrast, Kainaliu’s monthly rainfall is often the highest, 7-9 cm greater than Opihihale and 5-7 cm greater than Holualoa at the height of the summer and fall rainy periods.
The larger differences during the higher rainfall periods add up over the course of the year. In the table, Kainaliu clearly has the most annual rainfall, Opihihale has the least by far, and Holualoa sits between these two extremes, somewhat closer to Opihihale than to Kainaliu.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use consistent town name Original: Kanaliu Suggested revision: Kainaliu Why it matters: The town is called Kainaliu elsewhere in the response, so the introduction should use the same spelling.
- 2. Use uncountable noun Original: rainfalls Suggested revision: rainfall Why it matters: 'Rainfall' is normally uncountable when referring to an amount measured over time.
- 3. Name annual totals Original: numbers Suggested revision: totals Why it matters: 'Annual totals' identifies the table values more precisely than the general word 'numbers'.
- 4. Use highest for amounts Original: the most annual rainfall Suggested revision: the highest annual rainfall total Why it matters: 'Highest' is the natural comparative adjective for a measured rainfall amount.
- 5. Clarify measured total Original: the least by far Suggested revision: the lowest annual total by far Why it matters: Naming the annual total makes the comparison more precise.
- 6. Use formal trend verb Original: sits Suggested revision: falls Why it matters: 'Falls between' is a more precise formal expression for a numerical position.
- 7. Sentence rewrite Original: Opihihale usually has the least rainfall but has slightly more (less than 2 cm difference) rainfall than the Holualoa around August, and slightly more than both towns for a time in November. Suggested revision: Opihihale usually has the least rainfall, although it receives slightly more than Holualoa around August (a difference of less than 2 cm) and slightly more than both other towns in November. Why it matters: The rewrite removes an unnecessary article, clarifies the parenthesis, and streamlines the two exceptions.
- 8. Sentence rewrite Original: The larger differences during the higher rainfall periods add up over the course of the year. Suggested revision: The wider gaps during wetter months accumulate over the year. Why it matters: The rewrite avoids repetitive wording while preserving the explanation of the annual totals.
Suggested Rewrites
- Kanaliu Kainaliu
- rainfalls rainfall
- numbers totals
- the most annual rainfall the highest annual rainfall total
- the least by far the lowest annual total by far
- sits falls
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response is concise, logically organized, and uses varied, largely accurate language to compare the towns and connect monthly patterns with annual totals. Its central limitation is evidential: the attached image contains no readable rainfall graph or table, so the seasonal claims, numerical gaps, and annual rankings cannot be verified. The highest priority is to provide the correct visual and anchor every overview and detail in information visibly supported there.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response presents a relevant overview and detailed comparisons, but none of them can be verified because the attached image does not display the stated rainfall graph or table.
Use the correct graph and table, then support the overview and comparisons with clearly visible monthly and annual figures.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is sequenced effectively from overview to monthly comparisons and then annual implications, with clear paragraphing and cohesive progression.
Make the final paragraph even more self-contained by including the annual totals once they can be confirmed from the correct table.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is flexible and generally precise, with only minor awkwardness such as plural “rainfalls” and “the Holualoa.”
Use “rainfall” as an uncountable noun and remove unnecessary articles before town names.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response demonstrates varied complex structures with strong control, and the few minor slips do not impede communication.
Polish small article and phrasing issues while preserving the current sentence variety and accuracy.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph and table below show the average monthly rainfalls and average annual rainfalls for three towns in the district of Kona in Hawaii for a 30-year period (1971-2000).
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.