The table below shows the hours of leisure time spent by people in different age groups in Someland.
Sample Response
The table shows how people in different age groups spend their leisure time in Someland over the course of a year. It can be clearly seen that the amount of leisure time available varies considerably across the age groups and that people of different age levels have very different ways of spending their leisure time. According to the figures, as people age in Someland their social lives reduce. Teenagers and people in their twenties spend on average 500 hours per year on socialising and 350 hours of that time is with a group of more than 4 people. Although the total hours of socialising in their 30s, 40s, 50s and 60s is fairly constant (between 300-350), socialising with more than 4 people drops dramatically to 50 hours in the 30s and 40s age groups and only 25 from 50 years old. Group and individual exercise follow a similar pattern. People of all ages spend a good part of their leisure time on entertainment such as TV/video viewing and cinema. In both cases, teenagers and retired people spend around twice as much time as those who are at working age. Home entertainment ranges from just over a thousand hours for teenagers and retired people and an average of 600 hours for everyone else. Cinema accounts for 100 hours of the teenagers and retired people’s leisure time and 25-50 hours for the rest. In conclusion we can see there is a significant trend towards solitary and smaller group activities as people grow older and that teenagers and retired people spend a lot more time on entertainment than those of working age do.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Describe measured activity Original: the amount of leisure time available Suggested revision: time spent on leisure activities Why it matters: The table reports time spent on listed activities rather than people's total available leisure time.
- 2. Use precise grouping Original: levels Suggested revision: groups Why it matters: Age groups is the standard term for the categories shown in the table.
- 3. Use natural collocation Original: their social lives reduce Suggested revision: their social activity decreases Why it matters: Social activity decreases expresses the downward trend more naturally and precisely.
- 4. Fix plural agreement Original: 350 hours of that time is Suggested revision: 350 of those hours are Why it matters: The plural subject hours requires are and a plural reference.
- 5. Correct range form Original: (between 300-350) Suggested revision: (between 300 and 350 hours) Why it matters: Between should be paired with and, and the unit should be stated.
- 6. Clarify age range Original: only 25 from 50 years old Suggested revision: only 25 hours among people aged 50 and over Why it matters: The revision supplies the unit and clearly identifies the relevant age groups.
- 7. Use concise overview marker Original: In conclusion we can see Suggested revision: Overall, Why it matters: A concise overview marker suits a factual Task 1 summary.
- 8. Use concise timeframe Original: over the course of a year Suggested revision: per year Why it matters: Per year expresses the table's annual unit more directly.
- 9. Remove empty framing Original: It can be clearly seen that Suggested revision: Delete Why it matters: The sentence states the trend more directly without this formulaic framing.
- 10. Match age labels Original: twenties Suggested revision: 20s Why it matters: Using the table's age-group format keeps category references consistent.
- 11. Correct group threshold Original: a group of more than 4 people Suggested revision: groups of four or more people Why it matters: The table includes groups of exactly four as well as larger groups.
- 12. Correct category wording Original: socialising with more than 4 people Suggested revision: socialising with four or more people Why it matters: The category begins at four people, so more than four is inaccurate.
Suggested Rewrites
- the amount of leisure time available time spent on leisure activities
- levels groups
- their social lives reduce their social activity decreases
- 350 hours of that time is 350 of those hours are
- (between 300-350) (between 300 and 350 hours)
- only 25 from 50 years old only 25 hours among people aged 50 and over
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response is fluent, logically sequenced, and successfully highlights the broad decline in large-group socialising and the high entertainment figures for the youngest and oldest groups. Its main limitation is uneven data accuracy, particularly the claimed stability of total socialising, the exercise pattern, and cinema figures. Prioritise checking each generalisation against every relevant age column and support exercise trends with precise comparisons.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
A clear overview and several useful comparisons are provided, but some trends and figures are inaccurate or overgeneralised.
Verify claims across all age groups and accurately compare the contrasting group and individual exercise figures.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses logically from socialising to exercise and entertainment, with cohesive links that generally clarify relationships.
Use distinct body paragraphs for related activity groups so that the comparisons are easier to scan and follow.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and generally precise, with effective expressions for trends and comparisons despite occasional awkward choices.
Replace imprecise phrases such as people of different age levels and their social lives reduce with more natural statistical language.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A good range of complex structures is handled accurately, and the few grammatical slips do not impede meaning.
Refine awkward age expressions such as from 50 years old and proofread punctuation around introductory and concluding clauses.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The table below shows the hours of leisure time spent by people in different age groups in Someland.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.