The graph below shows the pollution levels in London between 1600 and 2000.
Sample Response
The yielded line charts illustrate the level of pollution, sulphur dioxide and smoke in London from 1600 to 2000, and it measured micrograms per cubic metre.
Overall, it can be seen that sulphur dioxide pollution was higher than smoke. Additionally, after four centuries level was the same as it was in starting phase; in the early 17th-century, pollution rose.
In the late 16th century, sulphur dioxide had 1 microgram, which grew dramatically after 1600 and had 750 micrograms in 1800. After a century level was the same although, it touched its zenith 900 micrograms. 1900 it declines steadily, had 0 pollution level in 2000.
For smoke, in 1600 had same micrograms impurity environment level as sulphur dioxide, however, later it climbed steadily and took four centuries to touched its peaks level it was 400 micrograms in 1880. After it turned to a downward trend and after slight fluctuation in 2000 level was similar as was in 1600.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Repair clause structure Original: After a century level was the same although, Suggested revision: Later, the level was similar, although Why it matters: The original clause lacks an article and places the conjunction incorrectly.
- 2. Use correct collocation Original: touched its zenith 900 micrograms Suggested revision: reached a peak of 900 micrograms Why it matters: A measured value reaches a peak of a stated amount.
- 3. Correct trend description Original: 1900 it declines steadily Suggested revision: From 1900, it declined overall Why it matters: The series falls overall after 1900 but includes substantial fluctuations rather than a steady decline.
- 4. Use concise trend verb Original: had 0 pollution level Suggested revision: reached zero Why it matters: This is the natural expression for a series falling to a zero value.
- 5. Add subject and comma Original: in 1600 had Suggested revision: in 1600, it had Why it matters: The clause needs an explicit subject and punctuation after the introductory time phrase.
- 6. Clarify the measure Original: same micrograms impurity environment level Suggested revision: the same pollution level Why it matters: The original noun sequence is ungrammatical and obscures the comparison.
- 7. Fix comma splice Original: sulphur dioxide, however, Suggested revision: sulphur dioxide; however, Why it matters: A semicolon is needed before the linking adverb joining two independent clauses.
- 8. Correct the duration Original: took four centuries Suggested revision: took nearly three centuries Why it matters: The smoke series rises from around 1600 to its peak near 1900, a period of about three centuries.
- 9. Use infinitive form Original: touched Suggested revision: reach Why it matters: The infinitive after 'to' requires the base form of the verb.
- 10. Use singular noun Original: its peaks level Suggested revision: its peak Why it matters: The graph shows one highest point, so a singular noun is required.
- 11. Correct peak data Original: it was 400 micrograms in 1880 Suggested revision: at about 450 micrograms around 1900 Why it matters: The smoke line reaches its highest point near 1900 at roughly 450 micrograms per cubic metre.
- 12. Repair transition Original: After it turned Suggested revision: It then entered Why it matters: The original subordinate opening does not form a complete clause with the following coordination.
Suggested Rewrites
- After a century level was the same although, Later, the level was similar, although
- touched its zenith 900 micrograms reached a peak of 900 micrograms
- 1900 it declines steadily From 1900, it declined overall
- had 0 pollution level reached zero
- in 1600 had in 1600, it had
- same micrograms impurity environment level the same pollution level
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response identifies the dominance of sulphur dioxide and the eventual decline of both pollutants, so the broad message is generally visible. However, several dates, peak values, and trend descriptions are inaccurate or unclear, while frequent grammatical and collocational errors make the data difficult to follow. The priority is to select a few accurate turning points from the graph and describe them in short, controlled sentences with consistent past-tense forms.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response presents the main overall contrast and end trend, but several peak dates, values, and intermediate movements are inaccurate or insufficiently clear.
Report accurate turning points, especially sulphur dioxide peaking near 900 around 1850 and smoke peaking at roughly 450 around 1900.
Coherence and Cohesion
The overview and separate pollutant paragraphs provide a recognisable structure, though faulty linking and crowded sentences weaken progression.
Use one clear sentence for each main stage and connect comparisons with simple, accurate linkers rather than loosely joined clauses.
Lexical Resource
There is enough trend vocabulary to convey the general account, but frequent unsuitable collocations and word forms reduce precision.
Use standard graph phrases such as rose to, peaked at, fell steadily, and returned to instead of expressions such as touched its peaks level.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Some sentence forms are attempted, but frequent errors with articles, subjects, verb tense, and clause structure regularly disrupt clarity.
Write complete past-tense sentences with an explicit subject and verb, then check articles and singular-plural agreement throughout.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph below shows the pollution levels in London between 1600 and 2000.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.