The table below gives information about student enrolments at Manchester University in 1937, 1967 and 2017.
Sample Response
This table depicts some information about students registers at Manchester University in three different years ( 1973, 1967, 2017 ). It’s clear from the table that the number of students enrolled in the university grew up speedily.
According to what is shown in the table. The number of students enrolled was 327 students in 1937, and it increased quickly to become 1133 students after 30 years and 6254 students in 2017. The percentage of female was 45%, that was lower by 10% than the percentage of male in 1937, the percentage of female decreased by 10 % to become 35% in 1967, by contrast, the percentage of male increased by 10 % to become nearly the double of female at the same year, in 2017, the percentage of male decreased by 20 % to become 45% where the percentage of female increased by 20% to become 55%.
The percentage of students who came from within 40 miles of Manchester was 55% in 1937, and it went down by 30% to become 15% in 1967 and 1-2% in 2017. The percentage of students who came overseas was 6% from 4 countries in 1937, and It increased to 32% from 102 countries in 2017.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use correct noun Original: students registers Suggested revision: student enrolments Why it matters: The phrase needs the standard noun for the number of students registered at a university.
- 2. Correct the year Original: 1973 Suggested revision: 1937 Why it matters: The first year shown in the table is 1937.
- 3. Describe an increase Original: grew up speedily Suggested revision: increased rapidly Why it matters: Grow up describes maturation, whereas the data show a rapid numerical increase.
- 4. Remove repetition Original: was 327 students Suggested revision: was 327 Why it matters: The subject already identifies the figure as a number of students.
- 5. Use concise trend language Original: increased quickly to become Suggested revision: rose to Why it matters: Rose to expresses the change more directly and naturally.
- 6. Complete the noun phrase Original: The percentage of female was Suggested revision: The percentage of female students was Why it matters: Female needs a plural noun here because it modifies the student group.
- 7. Use percentage points Original: lower by 10% than Suggested revision: 10 percentage points lower than Why it matters: The difference between 45% and 55% is 10 percentage points.
- 8. Name the group Original: the percentage of female decreased Suggested revision: the percentage of female students decreased Why it matters: Female must modify the noun students in this structure.
- 9. Use an adjective Original: the percentage of male increased Suggested revision: the male percentage increased Why it matters: Male cannot function as a plural group noun in this phrase.
- 10. Use a natural comparison Original: nearly the double of female Suggested revision: nearly twice the female percentage Why it matters: Twice the percentage is the natural comparative form for these proportions.
- 11. Correct the preposition Original: at Suggested revision: in Why it matters: Years take the preposition in in this time expression.
- 12. Use percentage points Original: decreased by 20 % Suggested revision: fell by 20 percentage points Why it matters: The decline from 65% to 45% is twenty percentage points.
Suggested Rewrites
- students registers student enrolments
- 1973 1937
- grew up speedily increased rapidly
- was 327 students was 327
- increased quickly to become rose to
- The percentage of female was The percentage of female students was
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response identifies the strong growth in enrolment and reports most figures accurately, with reasonably clear grouping by topic. Its main limitation is incomplete and occasionally inaccurate coverage: the overview misses the changing student profile, the 1967 overseas figures are omitted, and the fall from 55% to 15% is misstated. Prioritise a fuller overview and careful checking of comparisons, then edit long sentences for grammatical control.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
A basic overview and most key figures are included, but some visual information is omitted or inaccurately compared.
Summarise the main changes in gender and student origin, include the 1967 overseas figures, and correct the fall from 55% to 15%.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response uses sensible topic-based paragraphs, although a fragment and a very long run-on sentence disrupt progression.
Divide the gender comparison into shorter sentences and use full stops and linking phrases to mark each time period clearly.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary communicates the main trends, but several awkward collocations reduce precision and naturalness.
Use accurate phrases such as 'student enrolments', 'rose rapidly', and 'the percentage of female students'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Simple meanings remain clear, but frequent errors in sentence boundaries, articles, agreement, and prepositions limit control.
Prioritise complete sentences and check article, verb, and preposition choices before adding complex comparisons.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The table below gives information about student enrolments at Manchester University in 1937, 1967 and 2017.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.