The diagram below shows how instant noodles are manufactured.
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Sample Response
The diagram illustratesillustrate the various steps through which instant noodles are manufactured with different equipment. Overalltools.Overall, it is clear that beginning with flour and ending with instant noodles.thisthese process can be divided into two phases.
With regard to the first phase,the first step is that the flour is transported by truck to storage silos. The floursilos.the flour is mixed with water and oil in a mixerby mixer ,and then the mixturethe flour which is mixed is made into dough sheets with rollers. Following this, therollers.following this,the dough sheets are cut intoare became dough stripsthe dough strips by using a special machine. Next,machine,next the strips are made into noodles discs. The noodles discs are sent to a chamber where they are cooked in oil and drieda dry-machine where they are cooked and dried
During the second phase,the next stage is that the noodles are put into cups with vegetables and spices . Afterwhich are prepared,after that,the cups are labelled and sealedlabels are printed on these cups .Finally the cups are sealed and the instant noodles are ready to be sold.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response successfully describes the main stages of the instant noodle manufacturing process in chronological order and includes an overview. However, frequent grammatical errors, awkward sentence structures, and poor punctuation reduce the clarity of the description. To improve, focus on mastering passive voice constructions and fixing basic punctuation and subject-verb agreement errors.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
All main stages of the process are outlined in order, though specific details such as cooking the noodles in oil are slightly overlooked.
Ensure all key specifics from the diagram labels, such as cooking in oil specifically, are included accurately.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is logically organized into clear paragraphs with sequential transition markers, though punctuation errors occasionally disrupt the flow.
Improve spacing after commas and refine transitional phrases to make paragraph progression smoother.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally adequate to describe the manufacturing steps, though it relies heavily on words directly copied from the diagram.
Incorporate a wider range of verbs for process descriptions to avoid over-reliance on given labels.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Frequent errors in sentence structure, verb forms, passive voice construction, and subject-verb agreement are present throughout the text.
Practice forming correct passive structures and avoiding incomplete sentence fragments.