The table below shows the results of surveys in 2005, 2010 and 2015 about McGill University.
Sample Response
The table shows the change in attitude, over ten years, of students at McGill University to different aspects of its academic provision.
Overall, the most striking set of statistics relate to approval for student services. There was a sharp increase in the number of students giving these services a good rating, particularly in the first five years: from 54 percent in 2005, to 81 percent in 2010, and 95 percent in 2015. There was also an overall improvement in ratings for teaching quality, though the increase was relatively small (74 percent in 2005 rising to 78 percent in 2015) and there was a decline in the interim (72 percent in 2010). There was also a fluctuation in attitudes to library resources, rising from 86 percent to 88 percent in the first five years and then falling by one percent in 2015. Good ratings for the university’s sports and social facilities were identical throughout, at 65 percent. Finally, there were poor ratings at the beginning of the period for the range of modules offered (39 percent in 2005) and they got worse, falling steadily to 31 percent in 2010 and 25 percent in 2015.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix agreement Original: relate Suggested revision: relates Why it matters: The singular head noun “set” requires the verb “relates.”
- 2. Use precise wording Original: approval for student services Suggested revision: ratings of student services Why it matters: The table reports good ratings rather than approval in general.
- 3. Report percentages Original: number Suggested revision: percentage Why it matters: The visual gives percentages, not absolute numbers of students.
- 4. Name the measure Original: a fluctuation in attitudes to library resources Suggested revision: a fluctuation in ratings of library resources Why it matters: Referring to ratings identifies the table’s measure more precisely.
- 5. Use percentage points Original: falling by one percent Suggested revision: falling by one percentage point Why it matters: The change from 88% to 87% is one percentage point.
- 6. Describe good ratings Original: poor ratings at the beginning Suggested revision: relatively few good ratings at the beginning Why it matters: The figure shows a low share of good ratings, not a count of poor ratings.
- 7. Clarify the trend Original: and they got worse, falling steadily Suggested revision: and the percentage fell steadily Why it matters: The original pronoun is unclear and “got worse” is imprecise for a numerical trend.
- 8. Sentence rewrite Original: The table shows the change in attitude, over ten years, of students at McGill University to different aspects of its academic provision. Suggested revision: The table shows changes over ten years in McGill University students’ ratings of five aspects of the university. Why it matters: This version identifies the measured ratings directly and removes the awkward interruption.
- 9. Broaden the overview Suggested revision: Expand the overview to mention the steady fall in ratings for module choice and the unchanged rating for sports and social facilities alongside the rise in student services. Why it matters: The current overview highlights only one major pattern and omits the clearest contrasting trends.
Suggested Rewrites
- relate relates
- approval for student services ratings of student services
- number percentage
- a fluctuation in attitudes to library resources a fluctuation in ratings of library resources
- falling by one percent falling by one percentage point
- poor ratings at the beginning relatively few good ratings at the beginning
Why this response received Band 8.5
The response accurately reports every category and uses precise comparisons, with the sharp rise in student services clearly foregrounded. Its main limitation is presentation: almost all details sit in one long paragraph, which slightly weakens the visual grouping of trends. The highest-priority improvement is to divide the details into two logically grouped paragraphs while preserving the accurate, concise coverage.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response fully and accurately covers all five aspects, with a clear overview and well-selected comparisons.
Retain this comprehensive accuracy while making the overview slightly broader by also noting the decline in module ratings.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information progresses logically and cohesive devices clarify the relationships between trends, although the detail is concentrated in one long paragraph.
Group the improving and declining or stable categories into separate body paragraphs for clearer visual organisation.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and precise, including effective language for increases, fluctuations, stability, and decline.
Refine occasional phrasing such as academic provision so it accurately encompasses services and facilities as well as teaching.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is used accurately, with only a minor subject-verb agreement lapse.
Check agreement in noun phrases such as the most striking set of statistics relates to remove the remaining small error.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The table below shows the results of surveys in 2005, 2010 and 2015 about McGill University.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.