The chart below shows the internet users (in millions) in different countries in the Middle East as of June 2017.
Sample Response
The bar chart outlines the number of internet users in nine Middle-Eastern countries as of June 2017. A glance at the bar chart reveals that Iran by far had the highest internet users while it was the lowest in Lebanon. The diagram outlines that, more than 56 million Iranian citizens were connected to the internet in June 2017. During that time, Saudi Arabia had the second largest number of netzines, citizens who use the internet, where more than 24 million citizens had access to the internet. Iraq with exactly 14 million internet subscribers was in the distant third while this number in the United Arab Emirates was roughly eight and a half million. The numbers of citizens who had internet connections in countries like Yemen, Israel, Jordan and Syria were somewhat 6 million in each country. Finally, with the least number of internet users (4.6 million only) Lebanon stood at the bottom of the list.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove faulty reporting phrase Original: The diagram outlines that, Suggested revision: The chart shows that Why it matters: 'Shows that' takes no comma before the reported information.
- 2. Use the exact figure Original: more than 56 million Suggested revision: 56.7 million Why it matters: The chart provides a precise value for Iran.
- 3. Use the standard term Original: netzines, citizens who use the internet, Suggested revision: internet users Why it matters: 'Netzines' is misspelled and the definition is unnecessary.
- 4. Fix the relative link Original: where more than 24 million citizens had access to the internet Suggested revision: with just over 24 million internet users Why it matters: 'Where' does not correctly connect a country to its numerical figure here.
- 5. Correct the article Original: in the distant third Suggested revision: a distant third Why it matters: The fixed ranking expression is 'a distant third'.
- 6. Clarify the comparison Original: this number in the United Arab Emirates Suggested revision: the corresponding figure for the United Arab Emirates Why it matters: This phrase clearly links the UAE value to the preceding country comparison.
- 7. Use an approximation adverb Original: somewhat 6 million Suggested revision: approximately six million Why it matters: 'Somewhat' cannot modify a numerical estimate in this way.
- 8. Use a direct chart verb Original: outlines Suggested revision: shows Why it matters: 'Shows' is more direct and natural for introducing chart data.
- 9. Remove the hyphen Original: Middle-Eastern Suggested revision: Middle Eastern Why it matters: The established regional adjective is normally written without a hyphen.
- 10. Use the measured term Original: Iranian citizens were connected to the internet Suggested revision: people in Iran used the internet Why it matters: This wording directly describes the users measured by the chart.
- 11. Use a precise reference Original: During that time Suggested revision: In June 2017 Why it matters: The chart presents a single dated snapshot rather than a period of change.
- 12. Hyphenate compound adjective Original: second largest Suggested revision: second-largest Why it matters: A compound adjective before a noun should be hyphenated.
Suggested Rewrites
- The diagram outlines that, The chart shows that
- more than 56 million 56.7 million
- netzines, citizens who use the internet, internet users
- where more than 24 million citizens had access to the internet with just over 24 million internet users
- in the distant third a distant third
- this number in the United Arab Emirates the corresponding figure for the United Arab Emirates
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response gives a concise, accurate account of all nine countries, with a clear overview of the highest and lowest figures and sensible grouping of the four countries near six million. Its main limitation is linguistic polish: a few awkward word choices and sentence constructions weaken precision, and the lack of paragraphing compresses the presentation. Prioritise a separate overview and more natural comparative phrasing.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response accurately identifies the extremes, reports the main intermediate figures, and groups the four similarly sized countries effectively.
Refine the overview by also highlighting the substantial gap between Iran and every other country.
Coherence and Cohesion
The ranking and grouping create a clear logical sequence, although presenting the entire response as one paragraph limits structural clarity.
Place the overview in its own paragraph and group the detailed figures into higher- and lower-use countries.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and mostly precise, but 'netzines', 'highest internet users', and 'somewhat 6 million' are inaccurate or unnatural choices.
Use established expressions such as 'internet users', 'the highest number of users', and 'approximately six million'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response handles several complex comparisons successfully, with occasional errors in relative clauses, punctuation, and noun phrasing that do not impede meaning.
Check clause connections and remove unnecessary commas, especially in sentences introducing Saudi Arabia and Iran's figures.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The chart below shows the internet users (in millions) in different countries in the Middle East as of June 2017.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.