The plans below show the site of mining town in the past and after redevelopment in the present day.
Sample Response
The maps detail significant alterations to a former mining town. Looking from an overall perspective, it is readily apparent that the town became less focused on the industry of mining and more on tourism with various historical sites and facilities for dining and entertainment.
In the past, the mining town was centered around a mine entrance for workers and related infrastructure. There were two waste pits near the mines as well as a staff changing room and medical room for treatment of injuries. Adjacent to the mine was also an office building and slightly further away was the parking lot for cars and lorries.
In the present day, the parking lot for cars remains the same and the mine is still present, though it is now for visitors instead of workers. The office and changing rooms have been replaced by a museum while the lorry parking space and medical area have become a footpath (leading to a children’s playground) and a cafe, respectively. Finally, the waste pits have been removed in favor of a driving truck track and an area reserved for picnics.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural collocation Original: industry of mining Suggested revision: mining industry Why it matters: The compound noun is more concise and natural in this context.
- 2. Use singular feature Original: near the mines Suggested revision: near the mine entrance Why it matters: The visual shows one mine entrance rather than multiple mines.
- 3. Remove unsupported purpose Original: for treatment of injuries Suggested revision: Delete Why it matters: The visual labels a medical room but does not specify that it treated injuries.
- 4. Avoid unsupported distance Original: slightly further away Suggested revision: elsewhere on the site Why it matters: The schematic does not provide a scale that supports this precise distance comparison.
- 5. Separate parking areas Original: parking lot for cars and lorries Suggested revision: car park and a separate lorry park Why it matters: The former plan labels distinct parking areas for cars and lorries.
- 6. Use singular form Original: rooms Suggested revision: room Why it matters: The former plan shows one staff changing room.
- 7. Match feature label Original: lorry parking space Suggested revision: lorry park Why it matters: This concise term matches the feature shown in the former plan.
- 8. Clarify redevelopment sequence Suggested revision: Group the unchanged mine entrance and car park first, then describe the replaced facilities and newly connected visitor route. Why it matters: This ordering would make the present-day layout and changes easier to follow.
Suggested Rewrites
- industry of mining mining industry
- near the mines near the mine entrance
- for treatment of injuries Delete
- slightly further away elsewhere on the site
- parking lot for cars and lorries car park and a separate lorry park
- rooms room
Why this response received Band 8.0
This is a strong, concise report with a clear overview, purposeful past-versus-present organisation, and accurate coverage of nearly every major redevelopment shown. The main limitation is that a few spatial relationships and replacements are compressed rather than precisely distinguished. For the greatest improvement, describe the layout and each replacement a little more explicitly while retaining the current selective, comparison-led approach.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response presents a clear tourism-focused overview and accurately covers the retained mine and car park alongside all major replacements.
Distinguish the museum's replacement of both the office and changing room and describe the footpath's layout more precisely.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information progresses logically from the overall transformation to the former layout and then the present site, with smooth linking throughout.
Use slightly clearer sentence boundaries when several separate replacements are grouped into one long comparison.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and precise for change and location, with effective choices such as 'infrastructure,' 'adjacent,' and 'respectively.'
Replace mildly awkward phrases such as 'the industry of mining' with more natural concise wording such as 'mining operations.'
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is controlled accurately, and errors are rare and do not impede meaning.
Refine occasional awkward inversion and attachment, especially in the sentence describing the office and parking areas.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The plans below show the site of mining town in the past and after redevelopment in the present day.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.