The tables give information on the temperatures and the hours of daylight in two particular cities in the same week in May 2007
Sample Response
The tables compare data regarding the temperatures and daylight hours in Mumbai and Moscow, during the same week in May, 2017.
Overall, it can be seen that Mumbai was significantly hotter than Moscow, however, Moscow experienced much longer daylight hours.
Regarding the temperatures of the two cities, Mumbai had consistently high temperatures, ranging between 33-34 o C at its peak, and only dropping to 29 o C at its low each day. In contrast, the temperature in Moscow was considerably lower, with the maximum varying between 8-13 o C, and the minimum ranging from 2-9 O C. Additionally, while Saturday was the hottest day in Mumbai, Sunday was the hottest day in Moscow.
As for the hours of daylight, the sun rose in Mumbai every day at 6.00 am, and set between 7.05pm and 7.15pm. However, Moscow received a lot more daylight hours, with the sun rising between 4.05am and 4.15am each day, and setting at 10pm each of the recorded days. Additionally, Saturday had the longest amount of daylight hours in both cities.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Correct the year Original: May, 2017 Suggested revision: May 2007 Why it matters: The task and visual specify May 2007.
- 2. Fix comma splice Original: Mumbai was significantly hotter than Moscow, however, Moscow Suggested revision: Mumbai was significantly hotter than Moscow; however, Moscow Why it matters: A semicolon correctly separates the two independent clauses before however.
- 3. Express the range Original: ranging between 33-34 o C at its peak Suggested revision: with daily highs ranging from 33°C to 34°C Why it matters: The revision uses a grammatical range construction and identifies these figures as daily highs.
- 4. Name the daily low Original: only dropping to 29 o C at its low each day Suggested revision: with a daily low of 29°C Why it matters: This states the repeated minimum more directly and precisely.
- 5. Express highs clearly Original: maximum varying between 8-13 o C Suggested revision: daily highs varying from 8°C to 13°C Why it matters: From and to form a correct range and the plural matches the three daily figures.
- 6. Express lows clearly Original: minimum ranging from 2-9 O C Suggested revision: daily lows ranging from 2°C to 9°C Why it matters: The plural and from-to construction accurately describe the three minimum readings.
- 7. Use precise comparison Original: received a lot more daylight hours Suggested revision: had considerably longer periods of daylight Why it matters: Longer periods is a more precise comparison of daylight duration.
- 8. Improve the collocation Original: longest amount of daylight hours Suggested revision: longest period of daylight Why it matters: Period of daylight is the natural expression for duration.
Suggested Rewrites
- May, 2017 May 2007
- Mumbai was significantly hotter than Moscow, however, Moscow Mumbai was significantly hotter than Moscow; however, Moscow
- ranging between 33-34 o C at its peak with daily highs ranging from 33°C to 34°C
- only dropping to 29 o C at its low each day with a daily low of 29°C
- maximum varying between 8-13 o C daily highs varying from 8°C to 13°C
- minimum ranging from 2-9 O C daily lows ranging from 2°C to 9°C
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response is strongest in its clear overview and accurate selection of temperature and daylight comparisons, supported by well-chosen ranges and daily extremes. The main limitation is the incorrect reference to 2017 rather than 2007, alongside a few slightly awkward expressions. The highest-priority improvement is to check task labels and dates carefully so that an otherwise precise report remains fully faithful to the visual.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The overview and supporting details accurately capture the main temperature and daylight contrasts, with the stated year being the only notable factual error.
Verify the task date before writing so the report identifies May 2007 accurately while retaining the strong comparative coverage.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information progresses logically from the overview to temperatures and then daylight, with effective paragraphing and clear comparative links.
Refine punctuation around linking adverbs such as “however” to make the already clear progression fully controlled.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and precise for comparing ranges, daily conditions, and daylight, with only occasional slightly awkward phrasing.
Prefer natural formulations such as “daily low” and “duration of daylight” to sharpen collocational precision.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of sentence structures is used accurately, and the few punctuation or phrasing lapses do not impede communication.
Use a semicolon or full stop before sentence adverbs that connect independent clauses, especially “however.”
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The tables give information on the temperatures and the hours of daylight in two particular cities in the same week in May 2007
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.