The chart below shows the changes that took place in three different areas of crime in New Port City Center from 2003 to 2012.
Sample Response
The line graph illustrates the information regarding the rate of the change in Burglary, car theft, Robbery in the new port city during the year 2003 to 2012. The data has been calibrated in numbers.
Looking at the overall perspective, it is readily apparent that the car theft crime rate was shared by an upward trend in the given period whereas the least context was shown by Burglary.
Apparently, it is crystal noticeable that in the initial year, the Burglary rate was reached at the zenith point. Then it fell sharply from 2004 to 2012. Apart from it, the crime rate of car theft was rose in the last year. After that, the four years of Robbery offence rate almost remained the same, which were approximately 500. In contrast, the car theft rate was higher than the Robbery.
Turning towards the remaining data, the rate of Robbery was constant for some years. The 2004to 2008, the crime rate of Burglary were sharply down. Furthermore, it was reached 2200 in 2012 rather than Robbery.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Format the list Original: in Burglary, car theft, Robbery Suggested revision: in burglary, car theft and robbery Why it matters: Common crime names take lower case and the final list item needs a conjunction.
- 2. Use the place name Original: the new port city Suggested revision: New Port City Why it matters: The chart identifies this as a proper place name.
- 3. Fix the time range Original: during the year 2003 to 2012 Suggested revision: from 2003 to 2012 Why it matters: From and to correctly mark the beginning and end of a range.
- 4. Name the unit Original: calibrated in numbers Suggested revision: measured by the number of incidents Why it matters: The vertical axis records incident counts rather than calibrated data.
- 5. Use natural phrasing Original: it is crystal noticeable Suggested revision: it is clear Why it matters: Crystal noticeable is not an idiomatic academic expression.
- 6. Improve the transition Original: Apart from it Suggested revision: Meanwhile Why it matters: Meanwhile links simultaneous changes more clearly than the vague pronoun it.
- 7. Fix the verb form Original: was rose Suggested revision: rose Why it matters: The intransitive verb rise does not take the passive auxiliary was.
- 8. Avoid false chronology Original: After that Suggested revision: Across the period Why it matters: The robbery pattern is not an event occurring after the final-year rise.
- 9. Repair the subject Original: the four years of Robbery offence rate almost remained the same Suggested revision: the robbery rate remained relatively stable for several years Why it matters: The revision creates a grammatical subject and expresses the stated pattern clearly.
- 10. Fix reference and agreement Original: which were approximately 500 Suggested revision: at approximately 500 incidents Why it matters: A singular rate cannot be referred to by which were.
- 11. Compare like measures Original: higher than the Robbery Suggested revision: higher than the robbery rate Why it matters: The comparison must be between two rates rather than a rate and a crime category.
- 12. Use a concise link Original: towards Suggested revision: to Why it matters: Turning to is the idiomatic transition for moving to another data point.
Suggested Rewrites
- in Burglary, car theft, Robbery in burglary, car theft and robbery
- the new port city New Port City
- during the year 2003 to 2012 from 2003 to 2012
- calibrated in numbers measured by the number of incidents
- it is crystal noticeable it is clear
- Apart from it Meanwhile
Why this response received Band 5.0
The response is divided into recognizable sections and identifies some broad movements, including burglary's sharp decline and robbery's comparatively low level. Its overview and several details are inaccurate or unclear: burglary was not the lowest category, it peaked in 2004, and its 2012 figure was about 1,400 rather than 2,200. The priority is to establish the three correct overall trends, then support each with well-chosen start, peak, low, and end figures.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response mentions all three crimes and some valid movements, but its overview is inaccurate and several key dates and figures are misstated or omitted.
Give an accurate overview that burglary fell markedly, car theft fluctuated but ended highest, and robbery stayed lowest, then select reliable figures for each trend.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing provides a visible structure, but repetition, vague references, and poorly ordered details weaken progression and make the final paragraph difficult to follow.
Organize one detail paragraph around burglary and another around car theft and robbery, with each sentence moving chronologically through the data.
Lexical Resource
There is some range in trend vocabulary, but frequent misuse of words such as calibrated, context, and zenith makes the description unnatural and sometimes imprecise.
Prefer accurate, conventional graph vocabulary such as peaked, declined sharply, remained stable, fluctuated, and number of incidents.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts both simple and complex sentences, but frequent errors in articles, agreement, passive forms, and sentence construction reduce clarity.
Practise active trend structures such as burglary fell and car theft rose, and check subject-verb agreement and articles in every sentence.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The chart below shows the changes that took place in three different areas of crime in New Port City Center from 2003 to 2012.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.