The diagram details the process of producing olive oil.
Sample Response
The diagram delineates the process by which olive oil is made. The production can be divided into 3 main groups beginning with initial harvesting and treatment, followed by creation of the oil, and lastly storage for future use.
The process begins with the olives being harvested from trees and placed in a collection vat. The olives must then be de-leafed and cleaned with water before they are put into an olive mill to crush them into olive paste. The paste is then put through a malaxer set to a temperature not greater than 27 °C. After the malaxer, paste then enters a centrifugal press which creates virgin oils.
Subsequent to this, the virgin oils are then either separated (with waste water being discharged) or decanted, which filters out both solids and water. Regardless of the method of separation, both products are reserved in a storage tank to finish the steps detailed in the diagram.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use process terminology Original: 3 main groups Suggested revision: three main stages Why it matters: Stages is the more precise term for divisions within a production process.
- 2. Remove repetition Original: beginning with initial Suggested revision: beginning with Why it matters: Beginning and initial repeat the same idea.
- 3. Use natural wording Original: de-leafed Suggested revision: stripped of their leaves Why it matters: This phrase describes the leaf-removal stage more naturally.
- 4. Choose precise verb Original: cleaned with water Suggested revision: washed Why it matters: Washed expresses this water-cleaning stage more directly.
- 5. Match temperature limit Original: not greater than 27 °C Suggested revision: below 27 °C Why it matters: The diagram specifies a temperature below 27 °C, excluding 27 °C itself.
- 6. Use direct sequencing Original: Subsequent to this Suggested revision: Next Why it matters: Next signals the following stage more directly and avoids an unnecessarily heavy transition.
- 7. Clarify stored output Original: both products are reserved Suggested revision: the oil from both branches is stored Why it matters: Both purification branches send oil to the storage tank rather than producing two separately reserved products.
- 8. State the endpoint clearly Original: to finish the steps detailed in the diagram Suggested revision: at the end of the process Why it matters: This wording marks the final stage more directly and concisely.
- 9. Sentence rewrite Original: After the malaxer, paste then enters a centrifugal press which creates virgin oils. Suggested revision: After malaxing, the paste enters a centrifugal press, which produces virgin oil. Why it matters: The rewrite supplies the missing article, removes repeated sequencing, and uses oil as an uncountable noun.
- 10. Sharpen the overview Suggested revision: Identify the two purification branches and the pomace by-product as notable features of the process. Why it matters: The overview currently gives broad phases but omits the process's main branching point and secondary output.
Suggested Rewrites
- 3 main groups three main stages
- beginning with initial beginning with
- de-leafed stripped of their leaves
- cleaned with water washed
- not greater than 27 °C below 27 °C
- Subsequent to this Next
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response clearly follows the production sequence and uses precise process vocabulary, with an effective overview and generally controlled complex sentences. Its main limitation is incomplete coverage of the centrifugal-press stage: the pomace by-product and its possible further processing are omitted, while the final reference to both products is slightly unclear. Prioritise a fully accurate account of every major output and branch shown in the diagram.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The report presents a clear overview and accurately covers the main oil-production sequence, but it omits the pomace output and its possible further processing.
Include every major branch from the centrifugal press and distinguish clearly between the oil, wastewater, solids, and pomace outputs.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information progresses logically from harvesting to storage, although repeated sequencing language and the reference to both products slightly reduce cohesion.
Use more precise referencing at the final branch and reduce redundant combinations such as subsequent to this and then.
Lexical Resource
A broad and mostly precise process vocabulary is used effectively, including malaxer, centrifugal press, decanted, and discharged.
Refine the few awkward collocations, replacing creation of the oil and products are reserved with more natural process-report wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A varied range of complex structures is handled with strong control, with only occasional article and phrasing lapses.
Polish small details such as adding the article in after the malaxer and removing redundant sequencing words.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The diagram details the process of producing olive oil.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.