The pie charts below give information on the ages of the populations of Oman and Spain in 2005 and projections for 2055.
Sample Response
The given pie charts demonstrate two countries, Oman and Spain populations which are divided into three categories by ages in 2005 and forecasted it for 2055.
Overall, in both countries older people’s pollution was higher than other age groups additionally, it is predicted that it will continue till 2055.
For Oman, the age between 1 to 14 years and above 60 years population in 2005 was coincidently same on account of 48%, only 4% 14 to 59 years people. Moreover, prediction is that after a half-century youths number will drop and older people number will jump up dramatically, we can see nearly a tenth percentage slip in 0 to 14 years group whereas, the same percentage will rise in 60 plus categories, for both categories middle age, the population will stand at 6%.
For Spain, roughly a quarter proportion was for 15 to 59 years old citizen while 14% was for 0 to 14 years, the majority of percentage was for over 60 years, it was 62%. It predicts that in 2055, 15 to 59 age categories layman will grow a fifth. However, the number of 0 to 14 and 60 plus years group mankind fall and will have 12% and 46% respectively.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Add the article Original: prediction is that Suggested revision: the prediction is that Why it matters: The singular count noun prediction requires an article here.
- 2. Use population terminology Original: youths number Suggested revision: the proportion of young people Why it matters: The chart reports population shares rather than a raw number of youths.
- 3. Use population terminology Original: older people number Suggested revision: the proportion of older people Why it matters: Proportion accurately describes the percentage shown in the chart.
- 4. Use neutral chart language Original: jump up dramatically Suggested revision: rise Why it matters: A neutral reporting verb is more appropriate for a percentage change.
- 5. Report the exact change Original: nearly a tenth percentage slip Suggested revision: an 11-percentage-point fall Why it matters: Oman's youngest group declines from 48% to 37%.
- 6. Correct the increase Original: the same percentage will rise Suggested revision: the 60-plus share will rise by nine percentage points Why it matters: Oman's oldest group rises from 48% to 57%, a nine-point change rather than the same change.
- 7. Name the category accurately Original: for both categories middle age Suggested revision: for the 15–59 age group Why it matters: The chart defines this category by its age range rather than as middle age.
- 8. State the figure directly Original: roughly a quarter proportion Suggested revision: 24% Why it matters: The exact percentage is shown and the original phrase is redundant.
- 9. Correct plural age phrase Original: 15 to 59 years old citizen Suggested revision: 15- to 59-year-olds Why it matters: A plural nominal age range is required after the percentage expression.
- 10. Use accurate share term Original: the majority of percentage Suggested revision: the largest share Why it matters: Largest share is the natural phrase for the dominant segment of a pie chart.
- 11. Use passive reporting form Original: It predicts that Suggested revision: It is predicted that Why it matters: The projection is presented passively because no predicting agent is named.
- 12. Name the group clearly Original: 15 to 59 age categories layman Suggested revision: the 15–59 age group Why it matters: Layman is unrelated to a demographic age category.
Suggested Rewrites
- prediction is that the prediction is that
- youths number the proportion of young people
- older people number the proportion of older people
- jump up dramatically rise
- nearly a tenth percentage slip an 11-percentage-point fall
- the same percentage will rise the 60-plus share will rise by nine percentage points
Why this response received Band 5.0
The response covers both countries and both years, and most numerical values are reported accurately. However, the overview is imprecise and partly misleading, while frequent unsuitable word choices and grammatical errors make several comparisons difficult to process. The highest priority is to state the main age-distribution changes clearly, then express each comparison in a complete sentence using accurate population vocabulary.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
Nearly all percentages and projected changes are included accurately, but the overview wrongly suggests that the oldest group was uniquely largest in both countries and gives no clear comparative projection.
State that Oman begins with equal youngest and oldest shares, Spain is dominated by over-60s, and both populations are projected to age further by 2055.
Coherence and Cohesion
Separate country paragraphs provide a basic logical structure, but long comma-linked sentences and unclear referencing weaken progression within them.
Present each country's starting distribution first and its projected changes second, using shorter sentences with explicit age-group subjects.
Lexical Resource
The response attempts varied language, but frequent inaccurate choices such as 'pollution,' 'layman,' 'mankind,' and 'tenth percentage' seriously reduce precision.
Use consistent terms such as 'population,' 'age group,' 'percentage points,' 'rise,' and 'fall' rather than forced synonyms.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Frequent errors in sentence structure, agreement, articles, plural forms, and verb construction make several clauses difficult to read despite some attempted complexity.
Build complete subject-verb sentences for each comparison and check noun plurals and verb agreement systematically.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The pie charts below give information on the ages of the populations of Oman and Spain in 2005 and projections for 2055.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.