The graph below shows the population change between 1940 and 2000 in three different counties in the U.S. state of Oregon.
Sample Response
The graph shows the increase in population of three counties, Columbia, Yamhill and Washington in the U.S. state of Oregon, between 1940 and 2000. In 1940, Columbia had the lowest population of the three counties, at around 25,000. This compared with about 30,000 in Yamhill and approximately 75,000 in Washington.
By 1970, Columbia’s population had risen to just under 36,000. Although this appears on the graph to be a gentle increase, it is in fact an increase of approximately 50%. Yamhill’s population also rose by nearly 50% between 1940 and 1970: from 30,000 to just under 45,000. However, the greatest real increase was in Washington, where the population in 1970 had increased by approximately 75,000, to 125,000.
The years 1970 to 2000 saw the populations of Columbia and Yamhill increase by approximately the same amounts that they had increased by the thirty years before. In 2000, Columbia’s population – at approximately 76,000 – was triple what it had been in 1940. Likewise, Yamhill’s population, at around 90,000, was almost triple what it was in 1940.
Although Washington’s increase in population between 1940 and 1970 was large, its increase in the following thirty years was even sharper, rising from about 125,000 in 1970 to more than 240,000 in 2000.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use concise overview noun Original: increase in population of three counties Suggested revision: population growth in three counties Why it matters: “Population growth” expresses the trend more concisely.
- 2. Clarify numerical reference Original: This compared with Suggested revision: This figure compared with Why it matters: Adding “figure” gives the demonstrative a clear numerical referent.
- 3. Correct percentage increase Original: 50 Suggested revision: 40 Why it matters: A rise from about 25,000 to about 35,000 is roughly 40%, rather than 50%.
- 4. Use statistical term Original: the greatest real increase Suggested revision: the largest absolute increase Why it matters: “Absolute increase” precisely distinguishes the change in people from a percentage rise.
- 5. Correct Washington change Original: 75 Suggested revision: 50 Why it matters: Washington rose from about 75,000 in 1940 to 125,000 in 1970, a gain of about 50,000.
- 6. Align with graph value Original: 76 Suggested revision: 75 Why it matters: The 2000 point for Columbia is plotted at about 75,000.
- 7. State exact proportion Original: was almost triple Suggested revision: was triple Why it matters: The graph shows Yamhill rising from about 30,000 to about 90,000, which is approximately three times the initial value.
- 8. Sentence rewrite Original: The years 1970 to 2000 saw the populations of Columbia and Yamhill increase by approximately the same amounts that they had increased by the thirty years before. Suggested revision: From 1970 to 2000, Columbia and Yamhill each gained far more residents than in the preceding thirty years. Why it matters: Both counties grew by roughly 40,000–45,000 after 1970, compared with only about 10,000–15,000 before then.
- 9. Add clear overview Suggested revision: Add an overview stating that all three populations rose and that Washington remained the largest and recorded the strongest growth. Why it matters: The response begins directly with figures without first summarising the graph’s main overall patterns.
Suggested Rewrites
- increase in population of three counties population growth in three counties
- This compared with This figure compared with
- 50 40
- the greatest real increase the largest absolute increase
- 75 50
- 76 75
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response is highly readable and compares the three counties effectively across the period, with particularly clear handling of the sharper growth after 1970. Its main limitation is factual precision: Washington rises by about 50,000, rather than 75,000, between 1940 and 1970, and the overall trend is not distilled into a dedicated overview. Prioritise a concise overview identifying universal growth and Washington’s dominant increase, then verify each calculated change.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response covers all counties and periods with useful comparisons, but it miscalculates Washington’s 1940–1970 increase and provides only a limited overall summary.
Add a distinct overview stating that all populations rose while Washington remained largest and grew most, and correct its first-period increase to about 50,000.
Coherence and Cohesion
The chronological organisation is easy to follow, and each paragraph develops a coherent set of comparisons with smooth referencing.
Separate the broad overview from the opening data details so the main patterns are immediately visible before the chronological analysis.
Lexical Resource
Flexible comparative and trend vocabulary is used accurately and naturally, including language for proportions, amounts and changing rates.
Prefer the more precise phrase ‘largest absolute increase’ to ‘greatest real increase’ when comparing numerical growth.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response demonstrates a wide range of well-controlled sentence forms, including subordinate clauses, comparisons and parenthetical detail.
Maintain this accuracy while making the overview syntactically concise enough to foreground the two dominant trends.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph below shows the population change between 1940 and 2000 in three different counties in the U.S. state of Oregon.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.