The graph below shows the population change between 1940 and 2000 in three different counties in the US state of Oregon. Population (in thousands) in the state of Oregon by County, 1970-2000.
Sample Response
The line graph shows how the population in three countries in the state of Oregon in the USA changed between 1940 and 2000. Overall, Washington had far higher population than Columbia and Yamhill and the population growth between 1980 and 2000 was considerably higher. In 1940, the population of Columbia was around 28 thousand, the lowest among the three counties in the Oregon state. Yamhill had a population of 30 thousand while Washington had 75 thousand inhabitants, the highest among these counties. By 1970, Yamhill’s population increased by 50% while Columbia witnessed about 40% population increase during the last three decades. At that time, Washington’s population reached to nearly 125 thousand which was somewhat double than the population of Yamhill and Columbia together in this year. Finally, in 2000, Columbia and Yamhill accommodated roughly 90 and 80 thousand citizens, a noticeable growth than that of the last three decades. In this year, Washington’s population reached to approximately 250 thousand, more than double than that of 1970’s.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use correct geographic unit Original: countries Suggested revision: counties Why it matters: Columbia, Yamhill and Washington are counties within Oregon, not countries.
- 2. Correct initial figure Original: around 28 thousand Suggested revision: about 25 thousand Why it matters: Columbia's 1940 point is approximately 25 thousand on the graph.
- 3. Compare three figures naturally Original: the lowest among Suggested revision: the smallest of Why it matters: “The smallest of the three” is the natural form for comparing population figures.
- 4. Use place name directly Original: in the Oregon state Suggested revision: in Oregon Why it matters: The state name alone is the standard geographic expression.
- 5. Punctuate contrast clause Original: 30 thousand while Suggested revision: 30 thousand, while Why it matters: A comma should separate the two independent clauses joined by “while.”
- 6. Name highest figure Original: 75 thousand inhabitants, the highest Suggested revision: 75 thousand, the highest figure Why it matters: The superlative refers to the population number rather than to inhabitants themselves.
- 7. Use earlier reference tense Original: population increased by 50% Suggested revision: population had increased by 50% Why it matters: Past perfect clarifies that the increase was complete by the 1970 reference point.
- 8. Avoid personifying county Original: witnessed Suggested revision: experienced Why it matters: “Experienced” is the natural verb for a place undergoing population growth.
- 9. Add article Original: 40% population increase Suggested revision: a 40% population increase Why it matters: The singular countable phrase “population increase” requires an article.
- 10. Use correct time reference Original: during the last three decades Suggested revision: over the previous three decades Why it matters: From the 1970 viewpoint, 1940–1970 is the previous rather than the last period.
- 11. Specify final year Original: In this year, Washington’s Suggested revision: In 2000, Washington's Why it matters: Naming the year avoids an ambiguous reference and uses the standard apostrophe.
- 12. Remove incorrect preposition Original: reached to approximately Suggested revision: reached approximately Why it matters: The transitive verb “reached” takes the value directly without “to.”
Suggested Rewrites
- countries counties
- around 28 thousand about 25 thousand
- the lowest among the smallest of
- in the Oregon state in Oregon
- 30 thousand while 30 thousand, while
- 75 thousand inhabitants, the highest 75 thousand, the highest figure
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response is chronologically organised and correctly identifies Washington as the largest and fastest-growing county, with several early values reported accurately. Its main limitation is numerical precision: the 1970 combined comparison is overstated, the 2000 Columbia and Yamhill figures are reversed, and the overview refers to 1980 rather than 1970. Prioritise matching each line to its county and calculating comparisons directly from the plotted values.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The overall population pattern is clear and early data are mostly accurate, but several later values, dates, and relative comparisons are incorrect.
Check the legend and year labels before assigning values, and calculate ratios only after recording the three county figures accurately.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information progresses logically through 1940, 1970, and 2000, although the one-paragraph format and inaccurate comparisons weaken clarity.
Separate the overview and organise the detail around the first two years before comparing all three counties in 2000.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is sufficient for population trends, but inaccurate or awkward choices such as ‘countries’, ‘accommodated’, and ‘growth than’ reduce precision.
Use ‘counties’, ‘population stood at’, ‘rose to’, ‘increased by’, and ‘higher than’ consistently.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Meaning remains generally clear, but errors with prepositions, articles, comparatives, possessives, and clause punctuation occur frequently.
Revise structures such as ‘reached 125,000’, ‘twice as high as’, and ‘the 1970 figure’.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph below shows the population change between 1940 and 2000 in three different counties in the US state of Oregon. Population (in thousands) in the state of Oregon by County, 1970-2000.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.