The chart below shows the changes that took place in three different areas of crime in Panama City from 2010 to 2019.
Sample Response
This graph illustrates how crime rates altered in Panama City during the period 2010-2019. We can see immediately that the greatest change occurred in the number of burglaries, while incidents of theft remained low but steady. In 2010, we can see that burglary was the most common crime, with approximately 3,400 reported cases. The figure rose to around 3,700 in 2011, but then there was a downward trend until 2015. At this point the figure stood at just over 1,000 incidents. This rose slightly in 2016, then continued to fluctuate for the remaining period. In 2010, the number of cars being stolen stood at around 2,800 and followed a similar trend to burglary until 2013. At this point the number rose, standing at around 2,200 in 2014. There was a marginal decrease in the following year, but from then on, the trend was generally upwards. Finally, robbery has always been a fairly minor problem for Panama City. The number of offences committed changed little over nine years. It is interesting to note that the figure of approximately 700 in 2010 is the same figure for 2019.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural verb Original: altered Suggested revision: changed Why it matters: Crime rates change over time; altered is less natural in this context.
- 2. Clarify date range Original: during the period 2010-2019 Suggested revision: from 2010 to 2019 Why it matters: This is a cleaner way to express the chart's time span.
- 3. Clarify reference Original: This rose slightly in 2016 Suggested revision: The burglary figure rose slightly in 2016 Why it matters: Naming the series avoids the vague reference created by This.
- 4. Use concise category Original: the number of cars being stolen Suggested revision: the number of car thefts Why it matters: Car thefts is the concise category label used by the chart.
- 5. Correct comparison form Original: a similar trend to burglary Suggested revision: a trend similar to that of burglary Why it matters: The comparison should be between the trend in car theft and the trend in burglary.
- 6. Clarify time reference Original: At this point the number rose Suggested revision: The car-theft figure then rose Why it matters: Then identifies the sequence more clearly than the ambiguous At this point.
- 7. Use adjective form Original: upwards Suggested revision: upward Why it matters: Upward is the adjective needed after was to describe the trend.
- 8. Report chart objectively Original: robbery has always been a fairly minor problem Suggested revision: robbery remained the least common crime Why it matters: This version uses the chart's past period and states the supported comparison without subjective interpretation.
- 9. Sentence rewrite Original: We can see immediately that the greatest change occurred in the number of burglaries, while incidents of theft remained low but steady. Suggested revision: The greatest change was the sharp fall in burglary, while robbery remained comparatively low and stable and car theft ended close to its initial level. Why it matters: The chart shows robbery, not car theft, as the low and relatively stable series.
Suggested Rewrites
- altered changed
- during the period 2010-2019 from 2010 to 2019
- This rose slightly in 2016 The burglary figure rose slightly in 2016
- the number of cars being stolen the number of car thefts
- a similar trend to burglary a trend similar to that of burglary
- At this point the number rose The car-theft figure then rose
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response is strongest in tracing each series across the period with well-chosen figures and generally accurate descriptions of peaks, falls, and later movement. Its main limitation is the overview's reference to theft as low and steady, which confuses robbery with car theft and weakens the key summary. Correct that label and make the final ranking explicit, with car theft highest and robbery lowest in 2019.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The report accurately traces the main movements and supports them with relevant figures, but the overview mislabels robbery as theft.
Correct the category label in the overview and explicitly compare the three series at the end of the period.
Coherence and Cohesion
The crime-by-crime organisation creates a clear progression, and temporal links generally guide the reader smoothly.
Separate the overview from the details and reduce repeated references such as at this point and the figure.
Lexical Resource
A flexible range of trend and crime vocabulary conveys changes precisely, with one consequential ambiguity between theft and robbery.
Use each chart label consistently so that robbery and car theft cannot be confused.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Varied complex structures and tense forms are used accurately, and errors are rare and non-impeding.
Tighten occasional referential phrasing so that pronouns and time references always identify their subject immediately.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The chart below shows the changes that took place in three different areas of crime in Panama City from 2010 to 2019.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.