The charts below show the results of a questionnaire that asked visitors to the Parkway Hotel how they rated the hotel's customer service. The same questionnaire was given to 100 guests in the years 2005 and 2010.
Sample Response
The pie charts show the satisfaction levels of guests of the Parkway hotel regarding its customer service in 2005 and 2010. Overall, in 2010, the percentages of people who were contended about the customer service quality of this hotel increased considerably than that of 2005. Now turning to the details, in 2005, almost every visitor out of five opined that the customer service of Parkway hotel was poor while 15% thought that it was very poor. Roughly half of the survey takers expressed their satisfaction regarding their experience with the hotel's guest service and 14% said that it was good. One out of twenty such visitors were quite satisfied and they thought that the service was actually excellent. Now getting back the survey result in 2010, it is evident that the percentages of happy guests out of 100 who expressed their opinion soared than that of five years earlier. 28% of them thought that the service was excellent which was around 6 times higher than the poll result of this same category in 2005. Guests who thought that the service was good accounted for 39, a great increase than that of 2005. Finally, the ratio of guests who were dissatisfied with the hotel's guest service decreased considerably as well.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Capitalize proper name Original: hotel Suggested revision: Hotel Why it matters: Both words form the hotel's proper name and require capitals.
- 2. Report category precisely Original: Roughly half of the survey takers expressed their satisfaction regarding their experience with the hotel's guest service Suggested revision: Forty-five percent of respondents rated the hotel's customer service as satisfactory Why it matters: The chart gives a specific 45% “satisfactory” rating rather than a general expression of satisfaction.
- 3. Use proportion expression Original: One out of twenty such visitors Suggested revision: One in twenty respondents Why it matters: “One in twenty” is the natural expression for a 5% share.
- 4. Fix agreement and category Original: were quite satisfied Suggested revision: rated it Why it matters: The singular subject “one” requires singular agreement, and the chart category is a rating.
- 5. Remove unnecessary emphasis Original: actually excellent Suggested revision: excellent Why it matters: “Actually” adds subjective emphasis without contributing chart information.
- 6. Use clear time transition Original: Now getting back the survey result in 2010 Suggested revision: Turning to the 2010 results Why it matters: The response has not previously discussed 2010 details, so “getting back” is illogical.
- 7. Use singular percentage Original: the percentages of happy guests out of 100 Suggested revision: the percentage of satisfied respondents Why it matters: This refers to one combined share and should identify respondents rather than “guests out of 100.”
- 8. Remove redundant wording Original: who expressed their opinion Suggested revision: Delete Why it matters: All questionnaire respondents expressed an opinion, so the clause adds no information.
- 9. Fix comparative structure Original: soared than that of five years earlier Suggested revision: was substantially higher than five years earlier Why it matters: “Soared” does not take “than,” and the comparison needs a clear earlier reference.
- 10. Clarify respondent group Original: them Suggested revision: respondents Why it matters: The pronoun has an unclear antecedent after the preceding complex sentence.
- 11. Add relative-clause comma Original: excellent which Suggested revision: excellent, which Why it matters: A comma should introduce the supplementary relative clause.
- 12. Express multiplier correctly Original: 6 times higher than Suggested revision: nearly six times as high as Why it matters: The values are 28% and 5%, so the later figure is about 5.6 times the earlier one.
Suggested Rewrites
- hotel Hotel
- Roughly half of the survey takers expressed their satisfaction regarding their experience with the hotel's guest service Forty-five percent of respondents rated the hotel's customer service as satisfactory
- One out of twenty such visitors One in twenty respondents
- were quite satisfied rated it
- actually excellent excellent
- Now getting back the survey result in 2010 Turning to the 2010 results
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response clearly identifies the major shift towards positive customer-service ratings and accurately reports several important figures, including the large increases in excellent and good ratings. Its main limitation is incomplete detail for 2010: satisfactory, poor, and very poor ratings are not quantified, while awkward wording sometimes blurs category distinctions. Prioritise presenting a balanced comparison of all five categories across both years.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The overview and principal positive changes are accurate, but the 2010 decline across the three lower categories is insufficiently developed.
Report the 2010 satisfactory, poor, and very poor figures and compare each directly with its 2005 value.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response moves logically from the overview through 2005 and 2010, though one long paragraph and repetitive transitions weaken organisation.
Use a separate overview and one detail paragraph for each year, with direct category-to-category comparisons.
Lexical Resource
Some useful survey vocabulary is attempted, but frequent awkward choices such as ‘contended’, ‘opined’, and ‘soared than’ reduce naturalness.
Use standard phrases including ‘rated the service’, ‘respondents’, ‘rose to’, ‘fell to’, and ‘accounted for’.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of structures is attempted, but comparative forms, articles, agreement, and percentage constructions contain frequent errors.
Proofread every comparison for ‘higher than’, include the percent sign, and keep percentage subjects grammatically singular.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The charts below show the results of a questionnaire that asked visitors to the Parkway Hotel how they rated the hotel's customer service. The same questionnaire was given to 100 guests in the years 2005 and 2010.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.