The maps below show Pebbleton 20 years ago and today.
Sample Response
The two maps detail the town of Pebbleton 20 years in the past and in the present day. Looking from an overall perspective, it is readily apparent that the town has become more residential and offers more access for pedestrians.
The most noteworthy changes to the town relate to the expansion of housing. On the northern end of the narrow peninsula, there are now additional houses and the old fort has been replaced with a children’s playground (adjacent to a new community centre), though the lighthouse remains unchanged. South of the community centre are new tennis courts that link with a footpath (as well as Lighthouse Lane) and footbridge that connects with the school (along Coast Road) on the other side of a small river.
The final change is that a former film studio on the southwestern tip of the peninsula is presently a block of flats. The areas that have remained the same are the main roads, a playing field on the southern shore (alongside Old Fort Road), and most of the wooded space around the town.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use concise time phrase Original: 20 years in the past Suggested revision: 20 years ago Why it matters: The replacement conveys the same time reference more concisely.
- 2. Refine accessibility phrase Original: offers more access for pedestrians Suggested revision: has become more accessible to pedestrians Why it matters: The replacement is a more natural collocation for improved pedestrian access.
- 3. Refine location preposition Original: On Suggested revision: At Why it matters: 'At' is the more natural preposition for a position at the end of the peninsula.
- 4. Refine passive phrase Original: with Suggested revision: by Why it matters: 'Replaced by' clearly identifies the playground as the feature taking the fort's place.
- 5. Clarify pedestrian links Original: that link with a footpath (as well as Lighthouse Lane) and footbridge that connects with the school (along Coast Road) Suggested revision: between Lighthouse Lane and a footpath leading to a footbridge near the school on Coast Road Why it matters: The map shows the courts between the lane and footpath, while the footbridge reaches Coast Road near the school.
- 6. Use clearer time word Original: presently Suggested revision: now Why it matters: 'Now' is clearer and more direct when contrasting the two maps.
- 7. Match mapped features Original: most of the wooded space Suggested revision: most of the trees Why it matters: The map depicts individual trees rather than a clearly defined wooded area.
- 8. Contrast the bridges Suggested revision: Add that the existing road bridge remains unchanged while a new footbridge has been added near the school. Why it matters: This comparison would make the change in pedestrian access more explicit and complete.
Suggested Rewrites
- 20 years in the past 20 years ago
- offers more access for pedestrians has become more accessible to pedestrians
- On At
- with by
- that link with a footpath (as well as Lighthouse Lane) and footbridge that connects with the school (along Coast Road) between Lighthouse Lane and a footpath leading to a footbridge near the school on Coast Road
- presently now
Why this response received Band 9.0
The response gives a perceptive overview and accurately selects nearly all significant changes and unchanged features, supported by precise spatial detail. Its organisation and language are highly controlled, although the description of the new pedestrian route is slightly dense and could be easier to parse. The highest-priority refinement is to unpack that route into a shorter sequence showing exactly how the footpath and footbridge connect the peninsula to the school.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The overview and supporting details comprehensively and accurately cover the major additions, replacements, connections, and unchanged features.
For maximum clarity, distinguish the footpath from the footbridge more explicitly when describing the new pedestrian access.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is logically organised around the overview, major developments, and remaining changes, with cohesive progression throughout.
Reduce the density of the long pedestrian-route sentence so each spatial relationship is immediately clear.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is wide, precise, and natural, including effective language for locations, replacement, continuity, and development.
Maintain this precision while favouring slightly simpler wording where several map features are described together.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is used with consistently strong control and virtually no grammatical error.
Refine the parenthetical structure in the route description to make an already accurate sentence more effortless to read.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The maps below show Pebbleton 20 years ago and today.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.