The maps show the change of Pentland from 1980 to 2007.
Sample Response
The yielded pictures illustrate changes made between 1980 and 2007 in Pentland.
Overall, it can be seen that Pentland was a more residential area after roughly a quarter-century while before it was an industrial site.
In 1980, on the north side was a half-cup shape sea. Had two roads, north to south and east to west. Roads also forge area into four parts. Additionally, it crosses at the centre of Pentland. Grassland was on the southeast corner, whereas car parking was on the east side. In the west direction and above road place was an industrial area.
In 2007, the sea was later known as yacht marina and surrounded new road developed in the northwest corner new park build. Car parking shifted below to park, which was multi-storey. Next to it, a swimming pool was created. Houses area took the place of grassland whereas, opposite the road developed cinema. Moreover, alongside the road, many shops opened—apparently built on the northeast side.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Name visuals accurately Original: yielded pictures Suggested revision: maps Why it matters: The visuals are two maps, and yielded pictures is not an appropriate label.
- 2. Describe shape clearly Original: a half-cup shape sea Suggested revision: a semicircular bay Why it matters: Semicircular bay expresses the mapped coastal shape clearly and concisely.
- 3. Add subject and verb Original: Had two roads Suggested revision: There were two roads Why it matters: The original is a sentence fragment without a subject.
- 4. Use directional compounds Original: north to south and east to west Suggested revision: running north-south and east-west Why it matters: This is the standard concise way to describe the roads' orientations.
- 5. Fix tense and article Original: Roads also forge area Suggested revision: The roads also divided the area Why it matters: The description needs the article, past tense, and a verb that conveys spatial division.
- 6. Use location preposition Original: on Suggested revision: in Why it matters: In is the appropriate preposition for a location within a corner of the map.
- 7. Use concise location phrase Original: In the west direction Suggested revision: To the west Why it matters: To the west is the natural phrase for relative map position.
- 8. Identify the road Original: above road place Suggested revision: north of the east-west road Why it matters: The revision gives a precise location using the roads shown on the map.
- 9. Name the facility Original: whereas car parking Suggested revision: whereas the car park Why it matters: Car park names the mapped facility, while car parking refers to the activity.
- 10. Clarify relocation Original: shifted below to park, which was multi-storey Suggested revision: was relocated below the swimming pool and became multi-storey Why it matters: The revision fixes the malformed location phrase and makes the relative position clear.
- 11. Clarify reference Original: Next to it Suggested revision: Next to the car park Why it matters: Naming the facility removes the ambiguous pronoun reference.
- 12. Use correct noun phrase Original: Houses area Suggested revision: A housing area Why it matters: Housing area is the correct compound noun and requires an article.
Suggested Rewrites
- yielded pictures maps
- a half-cup shape sea a semicircular bay
- Had two roads There were two roads
- north to south and east to west running north-south and east-west
- Roads also forge area The roads also divided the area
- on in
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response’s strongest feature is its clear before-and-after organisation and its coverage of many major additions, including housing, shops, a cinema, a pool, and multi-storey parking. Its main limitation is that some spatial relationships are unclear and the new apartments are omitted, while frequent grammatical breakdowns obscure several changes. The highest-priority improvement is to verify every location against the maps and describe each replacement in a separate, complete sentence.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response identifies the overall redevelopment and many key features, but it omits the apartments and describes some locations and replacements imprecisely.
Include the northeastern apartments and clearly explain how the former industrial and grassland areas were replaced by the new facilities.
Coherence and Cohesion
Separate paragraphs for 1980 and 2007 create a logical overall progression, although fragments and a long malformed sentence weaken local coherence.
Present each major change in its own complete sentence and group related developments by side of the road or map quadrant.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a reasonable range of change and location vocabulary, but frequent unnatural choices such as yielded pictures, half-cup shape, and forge area reduce precision.
Use standard map-report language such as curved coastline, intersecting roads, was replaced by, was converted into, and was constructed.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Frequent fragments, missing articles and auxiliaries, tense errors, and malformed clauses cause noticeable difficulty despite a few accurate structures.
Write complete subject-verb sentences and systematically check passive forms, articles, and past-tense verbs when describing construction and replacement.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The maps show the change of Pentland from 1980 to 2007.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.