We were given a plan for a new town and asked to describe it. The plan was similar to the one below:
Sample Response
The map illustrates a plan for possible constructions and sites for a new township.
Overall it is immediately apparent from the map that two sites for parking and bus station are under construction in the west and east of the town and will be located in the core of the town.
The first possible site for the parking is just northeast of the city centre, along with freeway and road, which runs from in square path and occupy all the surrounding areas. Whilst parking area would be divided into three different locations northeast, southeast and southwest, thus all location providing connecting roads and easy for those living in the city centre. It will also be next to the freeway and recreational sites. Moreover, the second possible site for the bus station will be constructed in two areas west and east of the city centre.
Furthermore, the site in the northwest and southeast is Industrial, just by the freeway and fairly close to the city centre.
However, it is near to a recreational site, which is located in the north direction rather than housing. There is a main road that runs throughout the city in 10 different directions, and all connect with the freeway path. It is interesting to note that six different recreational sites will be constructed shortly. Whereas the main major recreational areas divide into four parts inside the city centre, and all are planning to connect with a freeway. Therefore, a small area for housing would be constructed along with the opening parking in the southeast.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Clarify the reference Original: It will also be next to Suggested revision: This parking area is also next to Why it matters: The pronoun has no clear singular referent after three parking locations are introduced.
- 2. Use the mapped location Original: the freeway and recreational sites Suggested revision: the freeway and a recreational area Why it matters: The map shows this parking area beside one recreational area rather than multiple sites.
- 3. Fix number and structure Original: the second possible site for the bus station will be constructed in two areas Suggested revision: two bus stations are planned Why it matters: The map contains two separate bus stations, so the subject and verb structure must be plural.
- 4. Use plural agreement Original: the site in the northwest and southeast is Suggested revision: the sites in the northwest and southeast are Why it matters: Two industrial locations require a plural noun and verb.
- 5. Lowercase the adjective Original: Industrial Suggested revision: industrial Why it matters: This adjective should not be capitalized in the middle of the sentence.
- 6. Use precise location language Original: just by the freeway Suggested revision: beside the freeway Why it matters: Beside expresses the mapped spatial relationship more precisely.
- 7. Name the feature Original: However, it is near to Suggested revision: The northwestern industrial site is close to Why it matters: The pronoun is ambiguous because the preceding sentence identifies two industrial sites.
- 8. Use natural direction wording Original: the north direction Suggested revision: the north Why it matters: In the north is the natural expression for this location.
- 9. Correct the road description Original: runs throughout the city in 10 different directions Suggested revision: radiates from the city centre in several directions Why it matters: The diagram shows radial roads, but it does not support the claim of ten directions.
- 10. Use the correct collocation Original: connect with the freeway path Suggested revision: connect to the freeway Why it matters: Roads connect to a freeway, and path is inaccurate for the thick road shown.
- 11. Avoid unsupported timing Original: will be constructed shortly Suggested revision: are included in the plan Why it matters: The visual presents planned features but gives no construction schedule.
- 12. Correct location and clause Original: Whereas the main major recreational areas divide into four parts inside the city centre Suggested revision: Four recreational areas lie within the freeway Why it matters: The original is a fragment and places the four areas inside the city centre rather than within the surrounding freeway.
Suggested Rewrites
- It will also be next to This parking area is also next to
- the freeway and recreational sites the freeway and a recreational area
- the second possible site for the bus station will be constructed in two areas two bus stations are planned
- the site in the northwest and southeast is the sites in the northwest and southeast are
- Industrial industrial
- just by the freeway beside the freeway
Why this response received Band 5.0
The response identifies several visible features, including the two industrial areas, the central bus stations, and the broad distribution of recreational land. However, its overview misstates the number and location of parking sites, and several descriptions of roads, housing, and future construction are unclear or unsupported. Prioritise an accurate overview, then organise precise comparisons by land-use category and location.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
Several relevant features are mentioned, but the overview inaccurately reports two parking sites and some claims about construction, housing, and roads are unsupported.
State that three parking areas and two bus stations lie within the central square, then describe each surrounding land use accurately.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphs separate some feature groups, but the progression is loose and connectors such as "However" and "Whereas" often do not express a logical relationship.
Group the central facilities, outer land uses, and transport network into a clear sequence with straightforward linking.
Lexical Resource
The response uses some appropriate map vocabulary, but frequent awkward combinations such as "runs from in square path" and "opening parking" reduce precision.
Use controlled location phrases such as "inside the city centre," "outside the freeway," and "to the southeast."
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex structures are attempted, but frequent article, agreement, and clause errors regularly make descriptions difficult to follow.
Write shorter complete sentences and check articles, plural forms, subject-verb agreement, and relative clauses carefully.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
We were given a plan for a new town and asked to describe it. The plan was similar to the one below:
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.