The chart below shows the price in Euros of 800 grams of four types of bread in one European country from 2001 to 2006
Sample Response
The line graph illustrates the price of 800 grams of various types of bread in a particular European nation over five consecutive years, starting from 2001.
It is clear that while the price of brown, white and rye bread increased, the price of wholegrain bread witnessed a wild fluctuation over the period shown. Additionally, the figure for brown bread saw the biggest change.
In 2001, residents in this country had to spend 0.8 euros for 800 grams of wholegrain bread, while the other types only cost 0.6 euros each. In 2002, the price of wholegrain, brown and white bread increased dramatically, with the figure for wholegrain bread reaching a peak of 1.8 euros, whereas the price of rye bread saw a slight decline.
From 2002 to 2005, the figures for rye bread and white bread both increased considerably to 1.3 and 0.7 euros respectively, while there was a substantial drop of 1 euro in the price of wholegrain bread in 2005. Meanwhile, the price of brown bread fluctuated wildly between 1.4 euros and 1.6 euros throughout the period.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Specify four types Original: various Suggested revision: four Why it matters: The chart shows exactly four bread types, so the more precise wording better reflects the visual.
- 2. Use plural noun Original: price Suggested revision: prices Why it matters: The sentence refers to separate prices for three kinds of bread, so the plural noun is required.
- 3. Use precise trend verb Original: witnessed a wild fluctuation Suggested revision: fluctuated sharply Why it matters: This concise trend phrase is more natural and appropriately formal for a graph description.
- 4. Clarify the change Original: the figure for brown bread saw the biggest change Suggested revision: brown bread recorded the largest overall price increase Why it matters: This wording accurately identifies brown bread's largest net rise and avoids the vague phrase "biggest change."
- 5. Use concise price wording Original: had to spend 0.8 euros for Suggested revision: paid 0.8 euros for Why it matters: The replacement reports the price more directly and naturally.
- 6. Avoid overstatement Original: increased dramatically Suggested revision: increased Why it matters: The three rises differed in size, so the unqualified verb avoids overstating the smaller increase in white bread.
- 7. Reverse the values Original: 1.3 and 0.7 euros respectively Suggested revision: 0.7 and 1.3 euros respectively Why it matters: The chart shows rye at 0.7 euros and white bread at 1.3 euros in 2005.
- 8. Correct the time range Original: throughout the period Suggested revision: from 2002 to 2005 Why it matters: Brown bread was only 0.6 euros in 2001, so the stated 1.4-1.6 range applies from 2002 onward.
- 9. Show the brown trend Suggested revision: State that brown bread fell from 1.6 euros in 2003 to 1.4 in 2004 before recovering to 1.6 in 2005. Why it matters: Giving the direction and intermediate values would make the reported fluctuation clearer and more informative.
Suggested Rewrites
- various four
- price prices
- witnessed a wild fluctuation fluctuated sharply
- the figure for brown bread saw the biggest change brown bread recorded the largest overall price increase
- had to spend 0.8 euros for paid 0.8 euros for
- increased dramatically increased
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response is clearly organised, provides a useful overview, and uses a sufficiently varied range of language to describe the trends. Its main limitation is data accuracy: the final values for white and rye bread are reversed, and some intermediate movement is compressed. The highest-priority improvement is to cross-check every series against the chart and support the overview with accurately assigned endpoint figures.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
A clear overview and several well-chosen comparisons cover the main trends, but the 2005 white and rye values are assigned to the wrong series.
Check the colour and label of each line before reporting endpoint values, especially white at 1.3 euros and rye at 0.7 euros.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses logically from the overview to early values and then later developments, with clear paragraphing and generally effective linking.
Separate the later movements by bread type more explicitly so that several series and time points are not compressed into one long sentence.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and generally appropriate for describing change, although repeated use of wild and some consumer-focused wording are slightly imprecise.
Use more measured chart language such as fluctuated sharply and cost rather than dramatic consumer-oriented expressions.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of simple and complex structures is handled accurately, with only minor awkwardness that does not impede meaning.
Refine time-span constructions and comparative clauses so descriptions of the period and changing values are consistently exact.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The chart below shows the price in Euros of 800 grams of four types of bread in one European country from 2001 to 2006
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.