The bar chart below shows the estimated sales of jeans for two companies next year in Turkey. The pie chart shows the projected market share of the two companies in jeans at the end of next year. Estimated sales of jeans next year in Turkey Projected market share
Sample Response
The column graph gives a projection on the next year’s jeans sales of two companies in Turkey while the pie chart compares their estimated market share. Overall, jeans sales are estimated to increase at the last quarter next year and Jack & Jones brand is anticipated to have half of the market share. According to the first graph, Jack & Jones jeans clothing sale will be roughly 450 thousand pairs in Turkey, which is almost three times higher than that of Mango brand. At end of the first quarter, Jack & Jones is estimated to sell 300 thousand pairs of jeans in Turkey while it would be just above 150 thousand for Mango. In July and August, the demand for Mango jeans is estimated to exceed the demand of Jack & Jones. However, Jack & Jones is likely to witness a hike in its jeans sale during the last quarter of the year and in December it will sell 900,000 pairs, double than its sale in January. During the last quarter, Mango jean’s sale would remain almost the same except a surge in December to 600 thousand sales. It is predicted that Jack & Jones alone will control the half of the market share while Mango corporation will have 30% market share. The remaining 20% would be controlled by the other jeans manufacturers.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Correct collocation Original: on Suggested revision: of Why it matters: Use “projection of” to introduce the figures being forecast.
- 2. Correct time preposition Original: at Suggested revision: in Why it matters: Use “in” with a quarter as a period of time.
- 3. Correct comparison form Original: double than its sale in January Suggested revision: double its January sales Why it matters: “Double” takes the compared amount directly and does not use “than” here.
- 4. Fix plural noun phrase Original: Mango jean’s sale Suggested revision: Mango jeans sales Why it matters: Use the plural nouns “jeans” and “sales” without a possessive apostrophe.
- 5. Use chart unit Original: 600 thousand sales Suggested revision: 600,000 pairs Why it matters: The chart measures pairs of jeans, so “pairs” is the accurate unit.
- 6. Remove unnecessary article Original: the half of the market share Suggested revision: half of the market Why it matters: Use “half of the market” without “the” before “half” in this construction.
- 7. Clarify the contrast Original: companies in Turkey while Suggested revision: companies in Turkey, while Why it matters: A comma makes the contrast between the two chart descriptions easier to follow.
- 8. Add the timeframe Original: their estimated market share Suggested revision: their projected market shares at the end of next year Why it matters: The pie chart gives each company’s projected share specifically at the end of next year.
- 9. Add the article Original: Jack & Jones brand Suggested revision: the Jack & Jones brand Why it matters: A singular specified brand needs the definite article here.
- 10. Use formal chart language Original: witness a hike Suggested revision: experience a rise Why it matters: “Experience a rise” is more natural and precise for describing a projected increase.
- 11. Use plural sales Original: sale Suggested revision: sales Why it matters: Use the plural “sales” for the aggregate number of pairs sold.
- 12. Separate independent clauses Original: year and in December Suggested revision: year, and in December Why it matters: A comma is needed before “and” because it joins two independent clauses.
Suggested Rewrites
- on of
- at in
- double than its sale in January double its January sales
- Mango jean’s sale Mango jeans sales
- 600 thousand sales 600,000 pairs
- the half of the market share half of the market
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response presents a clear overview and selects most of the important monthly and market-share comparisons, with the July–August crossover and year-end rise handled particularly well. Its main weakness is precision: the Mango figure at the end of the first quarter is inaccurate, and some descriptions are awkward or insufficiently anchored to a month. Prioritise exact data reporting and cleaner comparative phrasing, supported by more deliberate paragraphing.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
A clear overview and several well-chosen comparisons cover the main features, although the first-quarter Mango figure is inaccurate and one early comparison lacks a month reference.
Anchor every figure to its month and verify each value against the chart before making comparisons.
Coherence and Cohesion
The information progresses logically from the overview to monthly sales and market shares, but presenting the entire report as one paragraph weakens its organisation.
Separate the introduction and overview from two focused detail paragraphs grouping the monthly trends and projected shares.
Lexical Resource
Varied task-specific vocabulary conveys trends and projections clearly, though phrases such as “projection on,” “jeans clothing sale,” and “600 thousand sales” are awkward.
Use more natural chart-reporting collocations such as “a projection of,” “sales of jeans,” and “600,000 pairs.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses a useful range of complex sentence forms, but recurring article, preposition, possessive, and comparative errors reduce accuracy.
Edit constructions such as “in the last quarter,” “at the end,” and “double its January figure,” while checking articles and possessives.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The bar chart below shows the estimated sales of jeans for two companies next year in Turkey. The pie chart shows the projected market share of the two companies in jeans at the end of next year. Estimated sales of jeans next year in Turkey Projected market share
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.