The Process of Pu-erh Raw Tea and Ripe Tea.
Sample Response
The diagram illustrates the process of making pu-erh Ripe tea and Raw tea.
Overall, both tea-making processes have three same initial stages: pan frying, rolling and drying under the sun after this process differs for ripe and raw teas.
In the pan frying process, the leaves of trees are taken into a big pan and allowed to fry, which causes the inactivation of enzymes. Then the leaves are rolled and dried under sunlight. After completion of 3 common steps, making ripe tea involves three more steps. After drying under the sun, loose raw tea undergoes fermentation by mould and becomes loose, ripe tea, which becomes pu-erh ripe tea after compression.
For making raw tea, loose raw tea requires compression to form pu-erh raw tea, and after ageing, it becomes vintage pu-erh raw tea. The process of making raw tea involves only a single step as compared to ripe tea, which involves three steps.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix capitalisation Original: pu-erh Ripe tea and Raw tea Suggested revision: pu-erh ripe tea and raw tea Why it matters: Common product labels should not be capitalised mid-sentence.
- 2. Name material precisely Original: leaves of trees Suggested revision: tea leaves Why it matters: The process uses tea leaves, so this concise term is more precise.
- 3. Use process wording Original: taken into a big pan Suggested revision: placed in a large pan Why it matters: “Placed” and “large” provide a more natural formal process description.
- 4. Use passive process verb Original: allowed to fry Suggested revision: pan-fried Why it matters: The passive form clearly describes the treatment applied to the leaves.
- 5. Add article Original: completion of 3 common steps Suggested revision: the three common steps Why it matters: The definite article is needed because the stages have already been identified.
- 6. Remove incorrect comma Original: becomes loose, ripe tea Suggested revision: becomes loose ripe tea Why it matters: The comma wrongly separates the coordinated modifiers from the noun.
- 7. Use clear passive Original: requires compression Suggested revision: is compressed Why it matters: The passive verb directly expresses the next manufacturing stage.
- 8. Include storage stage Original: after ageing Suggested revision: after ageing in storage Why it matters: The diagram explicitly labels ageing as occurring through storage.
- 9. Use concise introduction Original: illustrates the process of making Suggested revision: illustrates the production of Why it matters: The concise noun phrase is natural for introducing a manufacturing diagram.
- 10. Use stage terminology Original: pan frying process Suggested revision: pan-frying stage Why it matters: “Stage” accurately identifies this step in the production sequence.
- 11. Use direct verb Original: which causes the inactivation of enzymes Suggested revision: which inactivates the enzymes Why it matters: The direct verb expresses the same process more clearly and concisely.
- 12. Place sequence marker naturally Original: Then the leaves are Suggested revision: The leaves are then Why it matters: Placing “then” after the auxiliary produces smoother process sequencing.
Suggested Rewrites
- pu-erh Ripe tea and Raw tea pu-erh ripe tea and raw tea
- leaves of trees tea leaves
- taken into a big pan placed in a large pan
- allowed to fry pan-fried
- completion of 3 common steps the three common steps
- becomes loose, ripe tea becomes loose ripe tea
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response clearly follows both production branches and accurately reports almost all the stages from pan-frying through the two finished tea products. Its main weakness is the inaccurate final comparison that describes raw tea as requiring only one further step, although compression and ageing are both shown, while some awkward grammar reduces fluency. Correct that comparison and refine sentence control while preserving the clear stage-by-stage organisation.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
A clear overview and an almost complete account of both branches are provided, but the final claim that raw tea has only one additional step contradicts the diagram.
Correctly compare the branches by stating that raw tea is compressed and aged, while ripe tea is fermented and then compressed.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses logically from the shared stages to the ripe and raw branches, with effective paragraphing despite some repetitive sequencing.
Make the branching point explicit once, then use concise parallel descriptions of the two routes to strengthen comparison.
Lexical Resource
Relevant process vocabulary is used accurately overall, though repetition and awkward phrases such as “three same initial stages” limit flexibility.
Use natural process phrasing such as “the same three initial stages,” “the process then divides,” and “undergoes ageing in storage.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures generally communicates the process clearly, but article, agreement, and sentence-boundary errors recur.
Revise long sentences for clean clause boundaries and check determiners and subject-verb agreement in each stage description.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The Process of Pu-erh Raw Tea and Ripe Tea.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.