The graph below shows radio and television audiences throughout the day in 1992.
This response is estimated at Band 5.0. Can you write a better one?
Write yours and get clear feedback on all four criteria.
- Closest to official scores
- What to fix on each criterion
- Feedback in about 20 seconds · free
Sample Response
The solid linebold graph shows the television audiences throughout the day in the UK between October and December 1992.throughout the day. It shows that the audience sharepercentage of audiences is zero percent in early morning but it gradually rises upto around 6-7% at 8:00 amten percent at 8:00 am and maintains the same for the next two hours. There is a slight fall in percentage over the next two hours; however, after that,in next two hours however after that it rises sharplysharp upto twenty percent within the next two hours. After this the graph rises very fast and attains itsit's peak at 8:00 pm10 pm which is about forty-fivefortyfive percent. ThenThe the graph gradually falls down and at 2:00 am it is at five percent.
The dotted linethinner graph shows the percentage of radio audiences. Unlike the television one the peak percentage of the radio audiences is at 8:00 am which is around 27 percentabout 30 percent. Then it gradually falls and it convergescorresponds with the television one at two pm. After that it gradually falls but with a small increase in percentage between 4:30 and 6:00 pmat 4:30 to 6:00 pm. The percentage of audience then gradually goes down and at 4:00 amfour Am it is the lowest which is near 2 percentpercentage. This graph showsThese graphs proves the progressive popularity of television.
Why this response received Band 5.0
The response successfully identifies key trends and specific data points for both media channels across the day. However, it lacks a dedicated overview statement and ends with an unsupported speculative claim about media popularity. To improve, write an explicit summary highlighting main visual trends without introducing outside assumptions, while refining punctuation and basic grammar.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
Major data points for both radio and television are reported, but the response lacks a clear overview statement and includes an unsupported conclusion.
Add a clear overview paragraph that synthesises key contrasts, such as radio's morning dominance versus television's evening peak.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response separates information into two distinct paragraphs by media type, though progression relies on repetitive sequencing words and mechanical structure.
Group comparisons by key times of day using a wider variety of cohesive devices rather than describing each line from start to finish.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary conveys the overall trend accurately, but there is noticeable repetition and frequent minor spelling or formatting lapses.
Expand the range of descriptors for movement and statistical trends while ensuring correct spelling of compound words and numbers.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Simple and complex sentences are attempted, but frequent errors in word form, subject-verb agreement, and punctuation recur throughout.
Review subject-verb agreement and punctuation rules to avoid run-on sentences and incorrect adjective forms when describing changes.