The line chart below shows the results of a survey giving the reasons why people moved to the capital city of a particular country.
Sample Response
The line graph sets out the key motivations for people relocating to the capital of a specific country between 2000 and 2015. Moving for the purpose of study saw the greatest rise overall, with a jump of approximately 62,000. It rose considerably in two periods - from 2000 to 2005 (by 22,000), and then again from 2010 to 2015 (by 33,000), with a more gentle growth of around 7,000 in between. Elsewhere, the figure of people relocating for work began at 61,000 in 2000, then peaked at 92,000 in 2010 - the highest of any reason, in any year - before finishing as the joint-highest in 2015 (87,000 - on a level with those relocating in order to study). Notably, this category was the only one of the four that underwent a downturn. Turning to 'adventure', this category rose the most stably and steadily of all four categories, from 11,000 to 15,000 over the fifteen-year period. Meanwhile, the number of people relocating for 'family and friends' reasons climbed gently in the first five years (12,000 to 14,000), followed by an upswing to 22,000, before eventually levelling off at around 23,000 in 2015.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use direct wording Original: key motivations for people relocating Suggested revision: main reasons people moved Why it matters: This wording is more concise and closely matches the survey measure.
- 2. Use a measurable subject Original: Moving for the purpose of study Suggested revision: The number of people moving to study Why it matters: A number can rise, whereas the activity of moving cannot itself show a numerical increase.
- 3. Use the comparative form Original: a more gentle growth Suggested revision: gentler growth Why it matters: The comparative adjective gentler is required after the contrast with the larger rises.
- 4. Use the correct collocation Original: figure Suggested revision: number Why it matters: Number, rather than figure, directly modifies a count of people.
- 5. Clarify the inserted detail Original: 2010 - the highest of any reason, in any year - Suggested revision: 2010—the highest figure for any reason in any year— Why it matters: The revised parenthetical phrase uses dashes cleanly and identifies what was highest.
- 6. Remove the predicative hyphen Original: joint-highest Suggested revision: joint highest Why it matters: This compound is not normally hyphenated when it follows the verb.
- 7. Use a concise comparison Original: on a level with Suggested revision: equal to Why it matters: Equal to expresses the identical 2015 values more directly.
- 8. Avoid redundant adverbs Original: rose the most stably and steadily Suggested revision: increased most steadily Why it matters: Steadily already conveys the stable pattern across the period.
- 9. Clarify the reason category Original: family and friends' reasons Suggested revision: reasons related to family and friends Why it matters: This phrasing states the category naturally without an awkward possessive construction.
- 10. Keep the sequence parallel Original: followed by an upswing to 22,000 Suggested revision: then rose more sharply to 22,000 Why it matters: Keeping the number as the subject makes the sequence of changes easier to follow.
Suggested Rewrites
- key motivations for people relocating main reasons people moved
- Moving for the purpose of study The number of people moving to study
- a more gentle growth gentler growth
- figure number
- 2010 - the highest of any reason, in any year - 2010—the highest figure for any reason in any year—
- joint-highest joint highest
Why this response received Band 8.5
The response is exceptionally accurate and selective, capturing every major trend and supporting comparisons with well-chosen figures. The principal weakness is presentation: all information is compressed into a single paragraph, while a few phrases are slightly awkward or redundant. The highest-priority improvement is to separate the overview from grouped details, preserving the precise data coverage while making the report easier to navigate.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The report fully and accurately covers the major trends, key turning points, rankings, and final convergence shown in the chart.
Keep this comprehensive coverage while making the final convergence of employment and study especially prominent in the overview.
Coherence and Cohesion
The sequence of categories and time periods is logical and easy to follow, with smooth transitions throughout.
Divide the overview and grouped details into distinct paragraphs so the strong progression is visually clearer.
Lexical Resource
A broad and precise vocabulary supports nuanced descriptions of changes, peaks, stability, and convergence, with only slight awkwardness in a few phrases.
Prefer more natural collocations in place of expressions such as the figure of people and most stably and steadily.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex comparative, participial, and subordinate structures are used with consistently strong accuracy and control.
Refine punctuation around parenthetical dashes and retain the same grammatical control when separating the response into paragraphs.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The line chart below shows the results of a survey giving the reasons why people moved to the capital city of a particular country.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.