Line graph The picture below shows the use of renewable energy accounting the total energy from 1971 to 2011.
Sample Response
Given is the map illustrating the trend of renewable energy usage in 6 nations in a period of 40 years from 1971 to 2011.
Generally, this kind of energy became more popular among all examined nations. Throughout the years, the rate in the UK remained the lowest while renewable energy was most commonly used in Finland.
Looking at the chart in more detail, Finland had the most significant figures, at 25% in the first year. This figure fluctuated in the next 20 years, following a downward trend before reaching the lowest point at over 15% between 1986 and 1991. The use of renewable energy in Finland gradually become more common in the next few decades and took up almost 25% of the total energy in the final year. The figures in Denmark and France followed the almost identical patterns, dropping to their bottom in 1986 before growing substantially until the end of the period.
With regards to the other 3 nations, the United States recorded the most significant growth in the use of renewable energy. Starting at a low of around 3%, its figure overtook that of France and DIt i senmark in the last decade, reaching almost 20% in the final year. The remaining two nations, Germany and the UK, experienced a relatively gradual growth in their figures, which ended at almost 10% and over 5% respectively.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Identify visual correctly Original: map Suggested revision: line graph Why it matters: The visual is a line graph rather than a map.
- 2. Use natural preposition Original: in 6 nations Suggested revision: across six nations Why it matters: ‘Across’ naturally introduces data covering several countries, and small numbers are normally written as words.
- 3. Name measure precisely Original: rate Suggested revision: proportion Why it matters: The graph shows renewable energy as a proportion of total energy, rather than a rate.
- 4. Use precise comparison Original: most significant figures Suggested revision: highest proportion Why it matters: ‘Highest proportion’ states the quantitative comparison precisely.
- 5. Correct past tense Original: become Suggested revision: became Why it matters: The report describes a completed historical period, so the verb needs the past tense.
- 6. Correct final figure Original: took up almost 25% Suggested revision: accounted for about 23% Why it matters: Finland ends at roughly 23% on the graph, below 25%.
- 7. Fix linking phrase Original: regards Suggested revision: regard Why it matters: The standard fixed expression is ‘with regard to’.
- 8. Correct country name Original: France and DIt i senmark Suggested revision: France and Denmark Why it matters: The country name ‘Denmark’ has been corrupted by a typing error.
- 9. Use direct opening Original: Given is the Suggested revision: The Why it matters: A direct subject-led opening is clearer and more natural in an academic report.
- 10. Name metric precisely Original: trend of renewable energy usage Suggested revision: share of energy from renewable sources Why it matters: The graph presents renewable energy as a percentage of total energy, not simply an amount of usage.
- 11. Fix duration phrase Original: in a period of 40 years Suggested revision: over a 40-year period Why it matters: The hyphenated compound adjective and preposition form the natural duration expression.
- 12. Describe share precisely Original: most commonly used Suggested revision: accounted for the largest share of total energy Why it matters: The graph compares proportions, so this wording states the measure accurately.
Suggested Rewrites
- map line graph
- in 6 nations across six nations
- rate proportion
- most significant figures highest proportion
- become became
- took up almost 25% accounted for about 23%
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response is well organised around a clear overview and sensible groupings, with a broad range of language for describing change. Some key claims are insufficiently precise—Finland did not rise overall, Germany finished near 13% rather than almost 10%, and Denmark and France were not fully identical—so the priority is to verify each overview statement and endpoint against the chart before refining the prose.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response selects major trends and comparisons effectively, but several overview and data claims are inaccurate or overstated.
Check the net change for Finland, Germany’s final value, and the differences between Denmark and France directly against the graph.
Coherence and Cohesion
A clear overview and well-chosen country groupings create strong logical progression across the response.
Make the transition into the final group slightly more concise and use the standard form “With regard to.”
Lexical Resource
A broad range of trend language is used effectively, although a few phrases are imprecise and one country name is corrupted.
Replace vague wording such as “most significant figures” with exact trend descriptions and proofread proper nouns carefully.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Varied complex sentences are generally well controlled, with a few noticeable but non-impeding form and agreement errors.
Correct forms such as “over a period,” “gradually became,” and “with regard to” to improve consistency.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
Line graph The picture below shows the use of renewable energy accounting the total energy from 1971 to 2011.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.