The charts below show the percentage of their food budget the average family spent on restaurant meals in different years. The graph shows the number of meals eaten in fast food restaurants and sit-down restaurants.
Sample Response
Over the past 30 years, the average family has dramatically increased the number of meals that they eat at restaurants. The percentage of the family's food budget spent on restaurant meals steadily climbed. Just 10 percent of the food budget was spent on restaurant meals in 1970, and 15 percent in 1980. That percentage more than doubled in 1990, to 35 percent, and rose again in 2000 to 50 percent. Where families eat their restaurant meals also changed during that 30-year period. In 1970, families ate the same number of meals at fast food and sit-down restaurants. In 1980, fam¬ilies ate slightly more frequently at sit-down restaurants. However, since 1990, fast food restaurants serve more meals to the families than do the sit-down restaurants. Most of the restaurant meals from 2000 were eaten at fast food restaurants. If this pattern continues, eventually the number of meals that families eat at fast food restaurants could double the number of meals they eat at sit-down restaurants.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Name exact period Original: Over the past 30 years Suggested revision: Between 1970 and 2000 Why it matters: The charts show a fixed historical period rather than the thirty years preceding the present.
- 2. Use past simple Original: has dramatically increased Suggested revision: dramatically increased Why it matters: Use the past simple for a completed period ending in 2000.
- 3. Keep past tense Original: eat Suggested revision: ate Why it matters: The verb should remain in the past tense when describing the historical period.
- 4. Repair broken word Original: fam¬ilies Suggested revision: families Why it matters: The word contains an invalid embedded character and should be written normally.
- 5. Correct year preposition Original: from Suggested revision: in Why it matters: Use “in” for meals eaten during a particular year.
- 6. Use concise phrasing Original: that they eat at restaurants Suggested revision: eaten in restaurants Why it matters: The shorter participial phrase avoids unnecessary wording while preserving the meaning.
- 7. Use concise measure Original: percentage Suggested revision: share Why it matters: “Share” expresses this proportion more concisely.
- 8. Use precise trend verb Original: steadily climbed Suggested revision: rose steadily Why it matters: “Rose steadily” is a more direct expression for this upward trend.
- 9. Use direct construction Original: Just 10 percent of the food budget was spent on restaurant meals Suggested revision: Restaurant meals accounted for 10 percent of the food budget Why it matters: This active construction reports the proportion more directly.
- 10. Clarify progression Original: and 15 percent in 1980 Suggested revision: rising to 15 percent in 1980 Why it matters: The participial phrase makes the upward progression between the two years explicit.
- 11. Use concise reference Original: That percentage Suggested revision: This share Why it matters: “This share” refers back to the budget proportion more concisely.
- 12. Order figure clearly Original: more than doubled in 1990, to 35 percent Suggested revision: more than doubled to 35 percent in 1990 Why it matters: Placing the value before the year makes the progression easier to read.
Suggested Rewrites
- Over the past 30 years Between 1970 and 2000
- has dramatically increased dramatically increased
- eat ate
- fam¬ilies families
- from in
- that they eat at restaurants eaten in restaurants
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response accurately captures the steady rise in restaurant spending and the shift from equal meal frequencies to fast-food dominance, with clear sequencing and mostly controlled language. Its main weakness is that the restaurant-meal graph receives few precise figures and the closing prediction is unsupported by the visual. Prioritise replacing speculation with exact comparisons from the two series, particularly for 1990 and 2000.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The main trends and budget percentages are accurately selected, though the meal-frequency series is under-quantified and the final prediction is irrelevant.
Report the fast-food and sit-down meal figures for 1990 and 2000 instead of speculating about a future pattern.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information progresses logically from food-budget changes to restaurant-type comparisons, with cohesive links used effectively.
Separate the overview and the two chart descriptions into clear paragraphs to make the grouping even easier to follow.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and generally precise, with a few awkward phrases concerning how restaurants serve meals and the year 2000.
Prefer natural formulations such as families ate more fast-food meals and in 2000 when making these comparisons.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A good range of structures is handled accurately overall, although a tense shift and a few prepositional choices are imperfect.
Maintain the past tense consistently for historical data and proofread prepositions in time and comparison phrases.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The charts below show the percentage of their food budget the average family spent on restaurant meals in different years. The graph shows the number of meals eaten in fast food restaurants and sit-down restaurants.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.