The table below shows the expenses per week of a retired single person and a couple in Australia for their comfortable lifestyle.
Sample Response
The yielded table illustrates how much money retired single and couple person spends per week in Australia, expenses measured in dollars. Overall, it can be clearly seen that others and housing expenses are most in both categories while shopping on the least. In addition, the retired couple per week expenses total is more than a single person who retired. For a retired single person, per week, use the average of 650 dollars. Housing expenses are $160 whereas, with the highest $177 spend on other. Above both expenses contain a roughly half proportion of total usage. Spending on clothing is double than shopping expenses. Furthermore, food, shelter, and health expenses are $55, $92, and $64, respectively. For 2 retired persons, total weekly spending is nearly$300 more than one retired person. Roughly expenses on food and health are similar on account of $70. $120 is used on clothing whereas same amount more money spending on housing-related than single retired persons. Moreover, Spending money on shelter is $110, which is half than shopping usage. Other expenses have 223 dollar expenses.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix possessive structure Original: the retired couple per week expenses total Suggested revision: the retired couple's total weekly expenses Why it matters: Use a possessive noun phrase and standard adjective order for the weekly total.
- 2. Compare like with like Original: is more than a single person who retired Suggested revision: are higher than those of a retired single person Why it matters: The comparison must match plural expenses with the other person's expenses.
- 3. Repair comparison clause Original: whereas, with the highest $177 Suggested revision: while the highest amount, $177, Why it matters: The clause needs a subject phrase that can introduce the highest expense.
- 4. Use passive form Original: spend on other Suggested revision: is spent on other expenses Why it matters: The amount is the grammatical subject, so a passive verb is required.
- 5. Clarify reference Original: Above both expenses Suggested revision: Together, these two expenses Why it matters: This wording clearly refers back to housing and other expenses.
- 6. Use natural proportion phrase Original: contain a roughly half proportion Suggested revision: account for roughly half Why it matters: Account for is the appropriate phrase for expressing a share of total spending.
- 7. Use spending term Original: usage Suggested revision: spending Why it matters: Spending accurately names the money represented in the table.
- 8. Fix comparison form Original: double than Suggested revision: almost double Why it matters: Double is not followed by than, and $67 is slightly less than twice $35.
- 9. Name the group clearly Original: For 2 retired persons Suggested revision: For the retired couple Why it matters: The table identifies this group as a retired couple rather than two generic people.
- 10. Correct the difference Original: nearly$300 more Suggested revision: $284 more Why it matters: The totals are $934 and $650, so the exact difference is $284.
- 11. Complete comparison Original: than one retired person Suggested revision: than for the single retiree Why it matters: Adding for makes the comparison between weekly spending totals grammatically complete.
- 12. Fix word order Original: Roughly expenses on food and health Suggested revision: Food and health expenses Why it matters: Roughly cannot modify the noun phrase in this position.
Suggested Rewrites
- the retired couple per week expenses total the retired couple's total weekly expenses
- is more than a single person who retired are higher than those of a retired single person
- whereas, with the highest $177 while the highest amount, $177,
- spend on other is spent on other expenses
- Above both expenses Together, these two expenses
- contain a roughly half proportion account for roughly half
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response gives a clear overview and covers nearly every expense category with generally accurate figures and useful comparisons. Its main weakness is frequent awkward or incomplete phrasing, compounded by the inaccurate claim that the couple's shelter cost is half its shopping cost. The highest priority is to use complete, controlled comparative sentences while checking every numerical relationship against the table.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The overview identifies the main spending pattern and higher total for the couple, and most figures are reported accurately, although one shelter-shopping comparison is reversed.
Check each comparison directly against the table and state that the couple's shelter spending is more than double its shopping spending.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses from an overview to the single person's costs and then the couple's costs, but the absence of paragraphing and some abrupt links weaken cohesion.
Separate the overview and the two groups of details into clear paragraphs, using comparisons to connect related figures.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient vocabulary for expenses and comparisons, but frequent unnatural choices such as 'yielded table,' 'usage,' and 'on account of' reduce precision.
Use standard Task 1 collocations such as 'the table shows,' 'weekly expenditure,' 'respectively,' and 'spent on.'
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mixture of sentence forms is attempted, but frequent errors in agreement, articles, plurals, and comparative structures often make clauses awkward.
Build complete subject-verb sentences and practise accurate comparative forms such as 'twice as much as' and 'higher than.'
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The table below shows the expenses per week of a retired single person and a couple in Australia for their comfortable lifestyle.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.