The chart below shows the movement of people from rural to urban areas in three countries and predictions for future years.
Sample Response
The line graph shows the figures in millions for the migration of people from the countryside to cities in three different countries over the period 2000 to 2025, including future predictions. Overall, it is clear that the shift from rural communities towards urban metropolitan areas is upwards.
All three countries began the period with similar numbers of urban migrants. Russia started with the most migrants (around 15 million) and over the period sees significant increases, particularly between 2010 and 2015 (around 42 to 70 million) with this upward trend predicted to continue (reaching approximately 86 million by 2025). Similarly, Iran after a slow start between 2000 and 2005 sees a dramatic rise in urban migration, and after 2015 is predicted to see an even more dramatic increase, surpassing Russia’s figures in 2020 reaching around 95 million by 2025. However, Indonesia bucks the trend somewhat. Whilst consistently steady between 2000 and 2020, its growth is far less dramatic than the other two countries (10 to 30 million). Furthermore, post 2020, it is predicted to level off at around 30 million.
To sum up, while all three countries have seen growth up to 2015, only the figures for countries Russia and Iran are predicted to see continued growth up to 2025.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Clarify measured quantity Original: figures in millions for the migration of people Suggested revision: number of people, in millions, migrating Why it matters: The revision states the measured quantity more directly and naturally.
- 2. Use correct range Original: over the period 2000 to 2025 Suggested revision: from 2000 to 2025 Why it matters: The paired prepositions 'from' and 'to' express the time range correctly.
- 3. Avoid redundancy Original: future predictions Suggested revision: projections Why it matters: Predictions already refer to the future, so 'projections' is more concise.
- 4. Use trend verb Original: is upwards Suggested revision: increases overall Why it matters: The original phrase is not an idiomatic way to describe an upward trend.
- 5. Fix tense and structure Original: over the period sees significant increases Suggested revision: rises significantly over the period Why it matters: The revision gives Russia a clear verb and uses the appropriate present tense for chart description.
- 6. Set off opener Original: Iran after a slow start between 2000 and 2005 sees Suggested revision: After a slow start between 2000 and 2005, Iran experiences Why it matters: Moving the time phrase to the front and adding a comma makes the sentence grammatically clear.
- 7. Link successive actions Original: in 2020 reaching Suggested revision: in 2020 and reaching Why it matters: The conjunction clearly links the crossover with the later projected figure.
- 8. Use natural time phrase Original: post Suggested revision: after Why it matters: 'After 2020' is the standard adverbial phrase in this sentence.
- 9. Remove unnecessary noun Original: the figures for countries Russia and Iran Suggested revision: the figures for Russia and Iran Why it matters: The country names can follow 'for' directly without the redundant word 'countries'.
- 10. Remove redundancy Original: three different countries Suggested revision: three countries Why it matters: The number already makes clear that the countries are different.
- 11. Avoid doubled meaning Original: urban metropolitan areas Suggested revision: urban areas Why it matters: 'Urban' and 'metropolitan' overlap in meaning, so one concise term is sufficient.
- 12. Use chart language Original: started with the most migrants Suggested revision: had the highest starting figure Why it matters: The revision compares the plotted values more precisely.
Suggested Rewrites
- figures in millions for the migration of people number of people, in millions, migrating
- over the period 2000 to 2025 from 2000 to 2025
- future predictions projections
- is upwards increases overall
- over the period sees significant increases rises significantly over the period
- Iran after a slow start between 2000 and 2005 sees After a slow start between 2000 and 2005, Iran experiences
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response identifies the overall rise and reports most key figures accurately, with effective comparison of the much stronger growth in Russia and Iran against Indonesia’s plateau. The main weakness is slight imprecision about when Iran overtakes Russia and in describing Indonesia as consistently steady; use exact crossover timing and distinguish steady growth from a stable level.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
A clear overview and well-chosen figures describe the main trajectories, but Iran only overtakes Russia after 2020 and Indonesia rises steadily rather than remaining steady.
State that the Russian and Iranian lines converge around 2020 before Iran moves ahead, and distinguish Indonesia’s gradual rise from its later plateau.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is sequenced logically by country and relationships are easy to follow, although the single dense body paragraph carries several distinct comparisons.
Split the detail into two purposeful paragraphs, separating the sharply rising countries from Indonesia’s slower growth and plateau.
Lexical Resource
The response uses varied trend vocabulary such as dramatic rise, surpassing and level off, with only occasional awkward combinations.
Replace redundant or imprecise phrases such as urban metropolitan areas and consistently steady with more exact trend language.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A good range of complex clauses is mostly controlled, though a few long sentences have loose attachment or punctuation.
Recast the long sentence about Iran so the crossing point and the 2025 figure are expressed in separate, clearly linked clauses.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The chart below shows the movement of people from rural to urban areas in three countries and predictions for future years.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.