The chart shows the sales of five different kinds of jam from 2009 to 2014
Sample Response
The line chart indicates the sales of five different kinds of jam from 2009 to 2014.
Overall, it can be seen that all types of jam experienced an upward trend in sales except for plum during the given years. In addition, strawberry remained the most popular kind with the highest figure in most of the period.
Starting at 3.2 million units in 2009, the sales of strawberry quickly increased and reached a peak of 7 million at the end of the period. Similarly, the figures for raspberry and grape witnessed the same pattern in which their sales grew considerably and stood at 5.5 million and 4.5 million respectively in 2014.
Moving on, 2.5 million units of plum was sold in 2009. However, this number gradually dropped throughout the period and finally, no unit was recorded in 2014. Regarding cherry, its sales saw a fluctuation around 2 million in the first four years. Then, the figure increased slightly before dropping to 2.5 million in 2014.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Describe sales directly Original: the most popular kind Suggested revision: the highest-selling kind Why it matters: The chart measures sales rather than consumer popularity.
- 2. Correct time phrase Original: in Suggested revision: for Why it matters: Use “for” to describe a duration covering most of the period.
- 3. Match the trend Original: quickly increased Suggested revision: rose steadily Why it matters: Strawberry sales increased progressively across the years rather than rising suddenly.
- 4. Use natural trend wording Original: the figures for raspberry and grape witnessed the same pattern Suggested revision: raspberry and grape followed similar upward trends Why it matters: Data series follow trends; figures do not naturally witness them.
- 5. Fix subject agreement Original: was Suggested revision: were Why it matters: The plural head noun “units” requires “were.”
- 6. Use plural after no Original: no unit was recorded Suggested revision: no units were recorded Why it matters: The plural form is more natural when reporting a zero quantity.
- 7. Use concise verb Original: saw a fluctuation Suggested revision: fluctuated Why it matters: The direct verb expresses the changing sales pattern more naturally.
- 8. Sentence rewrite Original: Then, the figure increased slightly before dropping to 2.5 million in 2014. Suggested revision: The figure then decreased slightly in each of the final two years, ending at about 2.8 million in 2014. Why it matters: The chart shows consecutive declines after 2012 and a final value above 2.5 million.
- 9. Add a key comparison Suggested revision: Compare grape with the other series, noting that it started far below them but exceeded cherry and plum by 2012. Why it matters: This highlights a distinctive change in relative position that the paragraph currently overlooks.
Suggested Rewrites
- the most popular kind the highest-selling kind
- in for
- quickly increased rose steadily
- the figures for raspberry and grape witnessed the same pattern raspberry and grape followed similar upward trends
- was were
- no unit was recorded no units were recorded
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response is strongest in its clear overview and logical grouping of the five series, with the main rise in strawberry sales and the decline in plum accurately identified. Its main limitation is that some trends receive little supporting comparison and the description of cherry after 2012 is inaccurate. Prioritise selecting a few precise cross-series comparisons and checking every stated movement against the chart.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
A clear overview and accurate main endpoints cover the key trends, although cherry's movement after 2012 is misreported and comparisons are limited.
Add precise comparisons at significant points and verify that cherry stays level before its final decline.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses logically from the overview to rising series and then the contrasting plum and cherry trends.
Strengthen links between series by organising details around direct comparisons rather than treating several lines separately.
Lexical Resource
A good range of trend vocabulary is used with generally appropriate precision, despite a few awkward combinations such as sales seeing a fluctuation.
Use more natural data-reporting collocations, such as sales fluctuated and sales fell to zero.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Varied complex structures are handled with good control, while occasional agreement and singular-plural errors do not impede meaning.
Check agreement in quantified noun phrases, especially constructions such as 2.5 million units were sold.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The chart shows the sales of five different kinds of jam from 2009 to 2014
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.