The diagrams below show changes that have taken place in the Sawry District neighborhood since 1920.
Sample Response
This pair of maps depicts the information about the course of a century in the awry district neighborhood by showing the area in 1920 and 2020.
Overall, it is crystal clear that the change in the neighborhood is one of growth. By 2020 there are more businesses, myriad housing. However, not all businesses and services remain intact after 1920.
To commence with, Business and housing show the most change and growth. The Canary present in 1920 was replaced by an office complex. Two of the houses near the Elmwood river were demolished replaced by a road and an apartment or complex. After that, oak avenue went from having two houses and a shop 2 having three houses to shops and apartment complex and a petrol station.
Furthermore, the change in public services was less significant than the change in housing and businesses. Prestwich primary school was demolished and then rebuilt as a bigger school closer to oak street shops. Moreover, the elmwood river gained a bridge and a bike path, the latter of which replaced the small beach scene on the 1920 map.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use neutral academic tone Original: crystal clear Suggested revision: clear Why it matters: The shorter expression is more neutral and appropriate for an academic report.
- 2. Keep past-time reference Original: are Suggested revision: were Why it matters: Use past tense consistently when describing the dated 2020 map.
- 3. Fix uncountable noun phrase Original: myriad housing Suggested revision: much more housing Why it matters: “Housing” is uncountable and does not follow “myriad” in this construction.
- 4. Clarify time comparison Original: remain intact after 1920 Suggested revision: remained from 1920 to 2020 Why it matters: The revision clearly identifies which earlier features survived to the later date.
- 5. Use plural category Original: Business Suggested revision: Businesses Why it matters: The countable category requires the plural noun here.
- 6. Avoid redundant nouns Original: most change and growth Suggested revision: greatest growth Why it matters: “Change” and “growth” overlap in meaning in this phrase.
- 7. Correct feature name Original: The Canary present Suggested revision: The cannery shown Why it matters: The 1920 map labels this building as a cannery, not a canary.
- 8. Capitalize place name Original: river Suggested revision: River Why it matters: Both words in this named geographical feature require capitals.
- 9. Add missing conjunction Original: were demolished replaced Suggested revision: were demolished and replaced Why it matters: The two passive verbs need a conjunction.
- 10. Correct feature label Original: an apartment or complex Suggested revision: an apartment complex Why it matters: The map shows an apartment complex, so “or” changes the intended meaning.
- 11. Avoid false sequence Original: After that Suggested revision: Meanwhile Why it matters: The maps show changes between two dates rather than a known sequence of events.
- 12. Fix subject verb agreement Original: was Suggested revision: were Why it matters: The plural subject “services” requires “were.”
Suggested Rewrites
- crystal clear clear
- are were
- myriad housing much more housing
- remain intact after 1920 remained from 1920 to 2020
- Business Businesses
- most change and growth greatest growth
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response’s strongest feature is its sensible grouping of changes into business and housing development and public services, with a relevant overview of growth. Its main limitation is uneven factual precision: some quantities are misstated, the cannery is misnamed, and the school’s new location is described inaccurately; several grammatical breakdowns also blur details. The priority is to verify each mapped change systematically and express comparisons in complete, carefully controlled sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
A relevant overview and several major changes are presented, but inaccurate quantities, labels, and location details reduce precision.
Check each map feature carefully, including the two apartment blocks, two shops, retained houses, and the school’s actual relocation.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response follows a clear overview-to-details structure and groups related changes, though some dense sentences make the progression harder to follow.
Separate multi-feature comparisons into shorter sentences and order each paragraph consistently by location.
Lexical Resource
The response shows some range in describing change, but misused or inaccurate items such as ‘myriad housing,’ ‘Canary,’ and ‘apartment or complex’ impair precision.
Use exact map labels and reliable change verbs such as ‘replaced,’ ‘relocated,’ ‘constructed,’ and ‘demolished.’
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A variety of structures is attempted, but frequent missing connectors, malformed clauses, agreement problems, and numeral substitutions reduce accuracy.
Build complete comparison clauses and proofread every sentence for required conjunctions, articles, and correctly written number words.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The diagrams below show changes that have taken place in the Sawry District neighborhood since 1920.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.