The diagrams below show the site of a school in 2004 and the plan for changes to the school site in 2024.
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Sample Response
The two maps illustrateillustrates the layoutlayout of a school in 2004 and future modifications 20 years later.
Overall, the camp undergoes substantial redevelopment, which means 400 more students are allowed to study Deleteand live in the school campuscamp. However, the greengrean area almost remainsremain unchanged.
To be more specific, in 2004, the study areain 2004, living and study area was designed for 600 students at the northern part, with a west-east path in the middle. To the north of that path was school building 1 surrounded by trees and plants while school building 2 laylied on the opposite side. The sports field wasSports field was at the end of the path. The entranceEntrance of the living and study area was on the left, which was adjacent to the carcark park at the top left corner of the camp. People could have access to that car park through a north-south road. Besides, the rest was green space which covered the southern and western partssouthern and western part and accounted for two thirds of the school site.
In 2024, most changes will occur in the northern part. Notably, School Buildings 1 and 2school building 1 and 2 are going to be linked, which cutscut through the original path. Sports field is converted into School Building 3a new school construction. A new road along the living and study area will be introduced, which allows people to use a new car park. Moreover, sports field is going to be moved to the south of the new Car Park 2second newly-built car park.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The report effectively highlights the major structural changes to the school site, incorporating relevant details such as student numbers and key building additions. However, word choice errors like repeatedly referring to the campus as a 'camp' and some subject-verb agreement mistakes slightly diminish clarity. To improve, refine spatial vocabulary for accurate location descriptions and carefully proofread grammatical structures.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response identifies key features and provides a clear overview of student capacity and construction, though some details about student living arrangements are inferred.
Ensure all descriptions strictly reflect the visual data without introducing unmentioned assumptions about student residential facilities.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is arranged chronologically into clear paragraphs, maintaining a logical progression throughout the description.
Use more varied referencing and cohesive devices to connect sentences smoothly within body paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
An adequate vocabulary range is used to describe changes, though minor spelling slips and misuse of words like 'camp' for campus occur.
Focus on accurate map-related terminology and carefully review spelling before completing the text.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex sentence structures is attempted, but frequent subject-verb agreement errors and tense inconsistencies are present.
Check subject-verb agreement and ensure past and future tenses match the specific years referenced in the diagrams.