The diagrams below show the layout of the town's shopping centre at present and after a future redevelopment.
This response is estimated at Band 9.0. Can you write a better one?
Write yours and get clear feedback on all four criteria.
- Closest to official scores
- What to fix on each criterion
- Feedback in about 20 seconds · free
Sample Response
The diagrams illustrate the planned redevelopment of a two-level shopping centre, comparing the current layout with the proposed future configuration.
Overall, the renovation will bring substantial changesbrings substantial change to both floors. The most noticeable features are the replacement of stairs with escalators, the addition of a supermarket on Level 1 and a cinema on Level 2, a reduction in retail space, and the introduction of a lift on the upper floorintroduction of a second lift on the upper floor.
On Level 1, the department store in the northwest corner remains intact. The entire row of shops along the southern wall is cleared to accommodate a large supermarket. The central staircase is removed and replaced by an escalator. Between the department store and the northeast shopsBetween the department store and the north-east shops, the ATM and lift are retained, and the northeast shops are reshaped from an L-shape into a square blockshops themselves remain untouched. The lift in the southeast corner also stays in position.
On Level 2, the shops are substantially reconfigured, with a consolidated shop area retained in the northeastall existing shops are demolished. A department store is placed in the northwest corner, while the southern strip extending along the eastern edge is converted into a cinemafull southern section is converted into a cinema. An ATM, which does not appear on this level in the current plan, is installed next to the department store. A new lift is added between the department store and the shopsA second lift is added near the northeast corner. As on the lower floor, the central stairs give way to an escalator.
Why this response received Band 9.0
The response presents an exceptionally clear and detailed comparison of both floors before and after the shopping centre redevelopment. Key features are logically organized by level with a concise, effective overview highlighting the major transformations. To achieve the highest possible standard, ensure complete precision when describing minor infrastructural additions such as the exact placement and count of lifts.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The report highlights all key changes across both levels, including clear overall trends and specific facility replacements.
Verify subtle details regarding minor features, such as the exact number and positioning of lifts on the upper level, to ensure flawless accuracy.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing is logical and transitions between descriptions of the two levels flow seamlessly with exceptional clarity.
Maintain this effective paragraph structure and logical grouping in future data description tasks.
Lexical Resource
The response employs a rich and precise vocabulary suited to architectural plans, such as 'demolished', 'retained', and 'accommodate'.
Continue using diverse and flexible lexical items naturally suited to spatial transformations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Grammatical control is outstanding throughout, featuring a wide variety of complex passive and active sentence constructions.
Sustain this high level of grammatical accuracy and structural flexibility across diverse prompt types.