The diagrams below show the layout of the town's shopping centre at present and after a future redevelopment.
This response is estimated at Band 8.0. Can you write a better one?
Write yours and get clear feedback on all four criteria.
- Closest to official scores
- What to fix on each criterion
- Feedback in about 20 seconds · free
Sample Response
The diagrams illustrate the planned redevelopment of a two-level shopping centre, comparing the current layout with the proposed future configuration.
Overall, the renovation will bring substantial changesbrings substantial change to both floors. Escalators replace the existing staircases, retail space is reduced, a supermarket and a cinema are introduced, and a lift is introduced on Level 2and a second lift is added on Level 2.
On Level 1, the department store in the northwest corner remains intact. The entire row of shops along the southern wall is cleared to accommodate a large supermarket. The central staircase is removed and replaced by an escalator. Between the department store and the northeast shopsthe north-east shops, the ATM and lift are retained, and the shops themselves remain untouched. The lift in the southeast corner also stays in position.
On Level 2, the shops are substantially reconfigured, with a retail block retained in the northeastall existing shops are demolished. A department store is placed in the northwest corner, while the full southern section is converted into a cinema. An ATM, which does not appear on this level in the current plan, is installed next to the department store. A second lift is added between the department store and the northeast shopsnear the northeast corner. As on the lower floor, the central staircasestairs give way to an escalator.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The essay presents a clear and exceptionally accurate summary of the shopping centre redevelopments across both floors. Key changes are well-grouped and described using precise spatial references and varied vocabulary. To achieve the absolute highest band, the description of Level 2 could slightly refine the exact positioning of the newly added shops relative to the cinema and department store.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response presents a thorough overview and accurately highlights all major changes between the current and future layouts.
Ensure every minor detail, such as the newly added shops in the northeast corner of Level 2, is explicitly mentioned alongside major additions.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is logically organized floor by floor, with natural transitions and clear comparative structures throughout.
Maintain this effective paragraphing structure while incorporating even subtle linking phrases to connect changes across floors.
Lexical Resource
A wide range of precise vocabulary appropriate for describing plans and changes is used effectively.
Continue using high-level spatial and developmental terminology, ensuring maximum variety in verbs of alteration.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Grammar and sentence structures are consistently accurate, flexible, and fully controlled throughout the text.
Experiment with more varied passive and complex clauses to further demonstrate grammatical sophistication.