The diagram shows the small-scale production of smoked fish.
Sample Response
The process chart illustrates the making of smoked fish on a small scale. Overall, it is immediately apparent from the chart that there are a total of seven steps for completing the procedure of smoky fish, beginning with assassinating the fish and culminating in packaging and delivery.
In detail, in this first step fish got killed with a sharp knife and move forward into further steps. Next, the dead fish rinse with salt and water for 30 minutes. After the washing stage, the fish was put on flame and cooked for five minutes. Following this, in the fourth stage, all the fish are arranged in series on a plate and ready to move to another stage.
Furthermore, the fish is put into the vast and placed upon coals which produce smoke when it burns up, and weed is placed on the container. The process runs for about 30 minutes and then moves ahead into the second last in this stage; the yellow colour gets sprinkled with a gun and passed in the final step. Moreover, the ready-smoked fish were packed in a container and transported to the market.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use precise process term Original: procedure of smoky fish Suggested revision: process of producing smoked fish Why it matters: Smoked fish names the finished product, whereas smoky fish describes a flavour or smell.
- 2. Use neutral process verb Original: assassinating Suggested revision: killing Why it matters: Assassinate is used for the deliberate murder of a prominent person, not for food preparation.
- 3. Correct the determiner Original: this Suggested revision: the Why it matters: The ordinal stage requires the definite article here.
- 4. Use process passive Original: fish got killed Suggested revision: the fish are killed Why it matters: A present passive form accurately describes a general process stage.
- 5. Clarify stage progression Original: and move forward into further steps Suggested revision: before moving to the next stage Why it matters: This wording makes the sequence and grammatical link to the preceding action clear.
- 6. Add passive construction Original: dead fish rinse Suggested revision: fish are rinsed Why it matters: The fish receive the action, so a passive verb is required.
- 7. Use correct preposition Original: with salt and water Suggested revision: in salt water Why it matters: The diagram shows the fish immersed in salt water rather than rinsed using two separate substances.
- 8. Correct tense and phrasing Original: fish was put on flame Suggested revision: fish are heated over a flame Why it matters: The present passive agrees with the process description and over a flame is the natural phrase.
- 9. Describe the arrangement Original: all the fish are arranged in series Suggested revision: the fish are arranged in a row Why it matters: In a row accurately describes the pictured arrangement, while in series is inappropriate here.
- 10. Link the actions Original: and ready to move to another stage Suggested revision: before being moved to the next stage Why it matters: The passive participle correctly links the arrangement to the following stage.
- 11. Correct the container name Original: the vast Suggested revision: a vat Why it matters: The diagram labels the smoking container as a vat.
- 12. Clarify the position Original: placed upon coals Suggested revision: positioned above the coals Why it matters: The diagram places the fish above the smoking coals rather than directly upon them.
Suggested Rewrites
- procedure of smoky fish process of producing smoked fish
- assassinating killing
- this the
- fish got killed the fish are killed
- and move forward into further steps before moving to the next stage
- dead fish rinse fish are rinsed
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response gives a clear start-to-finish account and covers nearly every stage, with an explicit overview and generally logical sequencing. Its effectiveness is reduced by inaccurate labels such as ‘assassinating,’ ‘weed,’ and ‘vast,’ alongside persistent grammar errors that make several steps awkward to interpret. The priority is to describe each action with precise process vocabulary and consistent passive forms, especially the smoking and colouring stages.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response provides an overview and reports the full sequence, but some process details are inaccurately named or described.
Verify each visual stage carefully and state that the fish are smoked over wood in a vat before yellow colouring is applied.
Coherence and Cohesion
The stages progress in a broadly logical order across clear paragraphs, although some linking is mechanical and one later sentence is overloaded.
Use one sentence for each major stage and rely on simple chronological links instead of joining several actions in one sentence.
Lexical Resource
There is enough vocabulary to describe the process, but frequent inappropriate choices such as ‘assassinating,’ ‘smoky fish,’ ‘vast,’ and ‘weed’ reduce precision.
Use accurate process terms such as ‘kill,’ ‘smoked fish,’ ‘vat,’ ‘wood,’ ‘apply colouring,’ and ‘package.’
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts passive and complex structures, but frequent errors in tense, agreement, articles, and clause formation weaken control.
Describe the process consistently in the present simple passive, for example ‘the fish are rinsed’ and ‘the fish are smoked.’
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The diagram shows the small-scale production of smoked fish.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.