The three pie charts below show the changes in annual spending by local authorities in Someland in 1980, 1990 and 2000.
Sample Response
The charts show how much local authorities spent on a range of services in Someland in three separate years: 1980, 1990 and 2000.
In all three years, the greatest expenditure was on education. But while K-12 education saw a fall from 25% in 1980 to only 18% of spending in 2000, higher education remained the largest proportion, reaching 45% of total spending in 1990 and ending at 40% in 2000.
Expenditure on health and human resources had increased to 20% by 1990 before decreasing to only 10% by the end of the period. In contrast, the share of transportation saw an opposite trend. This cost decreased to only 6% of total expenditure in 1990 but rose dramatically in 2000 when it represented 22% of the total budget. Similarly, the cost of environmental services saw a rising trend, growing from only 4% to 9% by 2000.
Overall, higher education constituted the largest cost to local authorities, and while spending increased for transportation and environmental services, there were corresponding drops in expenditure on health and human resources and K-12 education.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Smoother contrast Original: But while Suggested revision: While Why it matters: Starting directly with the contrast makes the relationship between the two education categories more concise.
- 2. Describe chart share Original: ending at 40% Suggested revision: accounting for 40% Why it matters: This phrase describes the category's share of total spending more precisely.
- 3. Use simple past Original: had increased to 20% Suggested revision: increased to 20% Why it matters: The simple past is appropriate because the sequence is already established by the stated years.
- 4. Refer to share Original: cost Suggested revision: share Why it matters: The chart reports a proportion of expenditure rather than a monetary cost.
- 5. Use accurate measure Original: the cost of environmental services Suggested revision: spending on environmental services Why it matters: The revised phrase accurately identifies the measured budget allocation.
- 6. Describe largest share Original: constituted the largest cost Suggested revision: accounted for the largest share Why it matters: The chart compares percentages, so 'share' is more precise than 'cost'.
- 7. Sentence rewrite Original: In all three years, the greatest expenditure was on education. Suggested revision: In all three years, higher education accounted for the largest individual share of expenditure. Why it matters: The rewrite identifies the specific category shown as largest rather than grouping two separate education categories together.
- 8. Sentence rewrite Original: In contrast, the share of transportation saw an opposite trend. Suggested revision: In contrast, the share allocated to transportation followed the opposite pattern. Why it matters: A budget share cannot literally 'see' a trend, so the revision uses a more natural data-description phrase.
- 9. Include omitted category Suggested revision: Add a brief comparison showing that the 'Other' category declined from 6% in 1980 to 4% in 1990 and 1% in 2000. Why it matters: This is the only category in the charts that the response does not report.
Suggested Rewrites
- But while While
- ending at 40% accounting for 40%
- had increased to 20% increased to 20%
- cost share
- the cost of environmental services spending on environmental services
- constituted the largest cost accounted for the largest share
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response gives a clear, well-organised account of the dominant spending patterns and supports them with accurate comparisons across all three years. Its main limitation is the omission of the Other category, which fell from 6% to 1%; adding this final change while keeping the overview focused on the largest categories would make the coverage more complete.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
A clear overview and accurate figures cover every major category, though the decline in Other from 6% to 1% is omitted.
Include the remaining minor category to make the selection of key changes fully comprehensive.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses logically from an introduction through grouped comparisons to a concise overview, with cohesive links used naturally.
Place the overview immediately after the introduction to foreground the main patterns before the detailed figures.
Lexical Resource
A broad and precise range, including expenditure, constituted, proportion and corresponding drops, describes trends effectively.
Refer to the share of spending on transportation rather than the share of transportation for greater collocational precision.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A varied mix of complex and simple structures is consistently accurate, and punctuation supports clarity.
Maintain this control while using occasional more compact comparative clauses to reduce repetition.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The three pie charts below show the changes in annual spending by local authorities in Someland in 1980, 1990 and 2000.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.