The pie charts show the results of a survey conducted by a university on the opinions of full-time and part-time students about its services.
Sample Response
The pie charts compare the opinions of full-time and part-time students about their university services, including IT support and opening hours.
Overall, it is clear that there was more positive feedback with regard to the opening hours than the IT support. Also, full-time students tended to be more satisfied with the two services than their part-time counterparts.
Regarding IT support, over half of the surveyed full-time students said that they were very happy with this service, while only a fifth of part-time students reported that they were very happy. In contrast, just 15% of the students studying full-time were not satisfied with IT support, in comparison with 45% of part-time students. The proportion of both types of students being quite happy with this service was relatively the same, at about one third.
The majority of full-time and part-time students felt very happy with the current opening hours, at 87% and 72% respectively. Only 1% of the examined full-time students were not satisfied with the opening hours whereas the figure for part-time students was a little higher, at 5%. The remaining 12% of the surveyed fulltime students felt quite happy with this service, as opposed to nearly a quarter of part-time students.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Specify the scope Original: their Suggested revision: two Why it matters: The charts cover IT support and opening hours rather than university services generally.
- 2. Use parallel comparison Original: with regard to the opening hours than the IT support Suggested revision: for opening hours than for IT support Why it matters: Parallel prepositions make the comparison more concise and natural.
- 3. State the comparison directly Original: tended to be more satisfied with the two services Suggested revision: were more satisfied with both services Why it matters: The percentages directly show higher satisfaction among full-time students for each service.
- 4. Give the exact figure Original: over half Suggested revision: 54% Why it matters: The chart provides an exact percentage for very satisfied full-time students.
- 5. Give the exact figure Original: a fifth Suggested revision: 20% Why it matters: Using the displayed percentage supports a more precise comparison.
- 6. Use natural comparison Original: relatively the same Suggested revision: similar Why it matters: "Similar" expresses the close proportions more naturally than "relatively the same".
- 7. Distinguish both figures Original: about one third Suggested revision: 31% and 35%, respectively Why it matters: The chart supplies separate percentages for full-time and part-time students.
- 8. Choose the right term Original: examined Suggested revision: surveyed Why it matters: Students supplied survey responses; they were not examined.
- 9. Add contrast comma Original: opening hours whereas Suggested revision: opening hours, whereas Why it matters: A comma should separate the contrasted clauses before "whereas".
- 10. Hyphenate full-time Original: fulltime Suggested revision: full-time Why it matters: The compound modifier "full-time" requires a hyphen.
Suggested Rewrites
- their two
- with regard to the opening hours than the IT support for opening hours than for IT support
- tended to be more satisfied with the two services were more satisfied with both services
- over half 54%
- a fifth 20%
- relatively the same similar
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response gives a clear overview and selects accurate, well-compared figures for both services and student groups. Its organisation and language are consistently controlled, with only minor wording issues such as “examined full-time students” and an occasional form choice. To improve further, refine these small lexical and grammatical details while maintaining the same precise comparative coverage.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
A clear overview identifies both principal patterns, and the supporting figures accurately cover every response category across both services and student groups.
Maintain this comprehensive selection while making the overview even more exact by noting that the satisfaction gap between groups is greatest for IT support.
Coherence and Cohesion
The four paragraphs are logically organised, comparisons progress naturally, and cohesive devices are used accurately without drawing attention to themselves.
For further refinement, vary the openings of detail sentences while preserving the clear service-by-service organisation.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and precise for reporting proportions and comparisons, with only rare awkward wording such as “examined full-time students.”
Replace the few less natural choices with standard survey terms such as “surveyed respondents” or simply “full-time students.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex comparative structures is used accurately, and the few minor form issues do not impede communication.
Polish small details such as writing “full-time” consistently and using the plural “proportions” when referring to two groups.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The pie charts show the results of a survey conducted by a university on the opinions of full-time and part-time students about its services.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.