The bar chart shows the typical weekday for students in three different countries.
Sample Response
The given bar graph depicts the data about students spending hours studying, relaxing, and sleeping in three different countries UK, Japan, and Germany.
Overall, it is seen that in the graph, in Japan people spend their time studying while in Germany and the UK they spend almost the same hours studying. Relaxing time in UK and Germany remain constant, i.e. 7 Initially, in the UK, many individuals used their paramount hours in sleeping while sleeping and relaxing is noted as 8,7 that is almost the same.
On the other hand, most people spend their precious time studying in Japan compared to relaxing and sleeping.studying is more famous in Japan. Furthermore, in Germany, students used their 8 hours for sleeping, 9 hours for studying and 7 hours for relaxing.
Finally, in Japan relaxing hours are least as compared to the other two countries whereas UK and Germany spend 7 hours on relaxation. Individuals from the UK, as well as Germany, spend around 8 hours sleeping rather to Japan. Students of Japan used their less couple of hours for relaxing.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use direct phrasing Original: the data about Suggested revision: how Why it matters: How introduces the distribution of time more directly and naturally.
- 2. Introduce country list Original: three different countries UK, Japan, and Germany Suggested revision: three countries: the UK, Japan and Germany Why it matters: A colon and the article the are needed to introduce and name the countries correctly.
- 3. Remove vague framing Original: it is seen that in the graph Suggested revision: the chart shows that Why it matters: This direct reporting clause is clearer and less wordy.
- 4. State main comparison Original: in Japan people spend their time studying Suggested revision: students in Japan spend the most time studying Why it matters: The chart shows that studying is Japan's largest category at 13 hours.
- 5. Clarify comparison Original: while in Germany and the UK they spend almost the same hours studying Suggested revision: while students in Germany and the UK spend similar amounts of time studying Why it matters: The revision supplies a clear subject and uses the correct countable expression for time.
- 6. Correct agreement and units Original: Relaxing time in UK and Germany remain constant, i.e. 7 Suggested revision: Relaxing time in the UK and Germany is the same at 7 hours. Why it matters: The singular subject requires is, and the value needs a unit.
- 7. Use natural collocation Original: used their paramount hours in sleeping Suggested revision: spent the most time sleeping Why it matters: Paramount hours is not an idiomatic way to identify the largest time allocation.
- 8. Correct UK figures Original: sleeping and relaxing is noted as 8,7 Suggested revision: sleeping and relaxing account for 8.5 and 7 hours, respectively Why it matters: The chart gives 8.5 hours for sleeping and 7 for relaxing in the UK, and the plural subject requires account.
- 9. Use neutral wording Original: precious time Suggested revision: time Why it matters: Precious is subjective and inappropriate for an objective chart description.
- 10. Describe quantity accurately Original: studying is more famous in Japan Suggested revision: Studying takes the most time in Japan Why it matters: Famous describes popularity, whereas the chart compares numbers of hours.
- 11. Use present tense Original: students used their 8 hours for sleeping Suggested revision: students spend 8 hours sleeping Why it matters: Chart descriptions conventionally use the present tense, and spend takes a duration directly.
- 12. Improve time collocation Original: 9 hours for studying and 7 hours for relaxing Suggested revision: 9 hours studying and 7 hours relaxing Why it matters: Spend a duration followed by an activity is the more natural construction here.
Suggested Rewrites
- the data about how
- three different countries UK, Japan, and Germany three countries: the UK, Japan and Germany
- it is seen that in the graph the chart shows that
- in Japan people spend their time studying students in Japan spend the most time studying
- while in Germany and the UK they spend almost the same hours studying while students in Germany and the UK spend similar amounts of time studying
- Relaxing time in UK and Germany remain constant, i.e. 7 Relaxing time in the UK and Germany is the same at 7 hours.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response identifies the main contrast that Japanese students study most and notes several accurate figures for Germany and the shared relaxation total in the UK and Germany. Its main weakness is incomplete and imprecise reporting of the UK and Japan figures, compounded by repetition and frequent awkward language. Prioritise a systematic country-by-country comparison using all nine values and straightforward, grammatically complete sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response provides a relevant overview and some correct comparisons, but it omits key exact figures for Japan and reports several values imprecisely.
State all three values for each country, especially Japan's 7 hours of sleep, 13 of study, and 4 of relaxation.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response has paragraphing and a broadly understandable sequence, but ideas are repeated and some details are placed awkwardly within the overview.
Keep the overview to the largest patterns, then use two focused detail paragraphs that compare the countries without repeating conclusions.
Lexical Resource
There is enough vocabulary to communicate the chart's basic trends, but frequent unsuitable collocations such as paramount hours, precious time, and studying is more famous reduce clarity.
Prefer precise chart language such as spent, recorded, highest, lowest, and exceeded instead of decorative or conversational word choices.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Frequent problems with agreement, punctuation, comparison forms, and sentence boundaries reduce accuracy and occasionally disrupt reading.
Write shorter complete comparison sentences and check subject-verb agreement, capitalization, spacing, and comparative structures systematically.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The bar chart shows the typical weekday for students in three different countries.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.