The bar chart below shows the hours per week that teenagers spend doing certain activities in Chester from 2002 to 2007
Sample Response
The bar chart illustrates the number of hours per week that teenagers in Chester devoted to seven different activities between 2002 and 2007.
Overall, television viewing, shopping and going to pubs or discos became more popular over the period, while homework, sport and bowling saw a decline in the hours dedicated to them. Watching DVDs followed a different pattern, rising for several years before falling back towards the end.
Television was consistently the most time-consuming activity, with weekly hours climbing steadily from 25 in 2002 to 38 in 2007. Going to pubs and discos remained fairly stable at around 12 hours between 2003 and 2006 before increasing sharply to 18 hours in the final year. Shopping showed a similar upward trend, rising from just 7 hours in 2002 to a peak of 15 hours in 2006 and 2007.
By contrast, homework hours fell gradually from 14 to 7 over the six years, and time spent on sport dropped even more markedly, from around 10 hours to only 2 by 2007. Bowling, already a minor activity, decreased slightly from 4 to 1 hour. Watching DVDs was the exception to these broad trends, increasing from 11 hours in 2002 to a high of 18 hours in 2004, before gradually falling to 12 hours by 2007.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Data accuracy error Original: climbing steadily from 25 in 2002 to 38 in 2007. Suggested revision: staying at 25 in 2002 and 2003 before rising to 38 in 2007. Why it matters: The bar chart shows television viewing remained at 25 hours in both 2002 and 2003, so it did not climb steadily from 2002.
- 2. Data accuracy error Original: fell gradually from 14 to 7 Suggested revision: fell gradually from around 13 to 7 Why it matters: The homework column for 2002 is slightly below 15, starting at around 13 hours rather than 14.
- 3. Plural noun form Original: 1 hour. Suggested revision: 1 hour. Why it matters: Using '1 hour' is grammatically correct here, but ensure consistency when comparing singular and plural numbers.
- 4. Data accuracy error Original: gradually falling to 12 hours by 2007. Suggested revision: falling to 10 hours by 2007. Why it matters: In 2007, watching DVDs dropped to 10 hours, whereas 12 hours corresponds to the 2006 figure.
- 5. Word choice Original: devoted to seven different activities Suggested revision: spent on seven different activities Why it matters: While 'devoted to' is acceptable, 'spent on' aligns more natural register for statistical descriptions of leisure activities.
- 6. Punctuation in list Original: Overall, television viewing, shopping and going to pubs or discos Suggested revision: Overall, television viewing, shopping, and going to pubs or discos Why it matters: Adding an Oxford comma improves readability when listing complex phrases.
- 7. Data detail accuracy Original: remained fairly stable at around 12 hours between 2003 and 2006 Suggested revision: remained steady at 12 hours between 2004 and 2006 Why it matters: Going to pubs/discos was at 10 hours in 2003, reaching 12 hours only from 2004 through 2006.
- 8. Data accuracy refinement Original: from just 7 hours in 2002 to a peak of 15 hours in 2006 and 2007. Suggested revision: from 7 hours in 2002 to 11 in 2003, peaking at 15 hours in 2006 and 2007. Why it matters: Including intermediate growth highlights the full progression accurately.
- 9. Vocabulary variety Original: even more markedly, Suggested revision: even more significantly, Why it matters: 'Significantly' fits academic trend descriptions well alongside 'markedly'.
- 10. Sentence rewrite Original: Watching DVDs was the exception to these broad trends, increasing from 11 hours in 2002 to a high of 18 hours in 2004, before gradually falling to 12 hours by 2007. Suggested revision: Watching DVDs was the exception to these broad trends, increasing from 11 hours in 2002 to a high of 18 hours in 2004, before falling to 10 hours in 2007. Why it matters: The final data point for watching DVDs in 2007 is 10 hours rather than 12 hours.
Suggested Rewrites
- climbing steadily from 25 in 2002 to 38 in 2007. staying at 25 in 2002 and 2003 before rising to 38 in 2007.
- fell gradually from 14 to 7 fell gradually from around 13 to 7
- 1 hour. 1 hour.
- gradually falling to 12 hours by 2007. falling to 10 hours by 2007.
- devoted to seven different activities spent on seven different activities
- Overall, television viewing, shopping and going to pubs or discos Overall, television viewing, shopping, and going to pubs or discos
Why this response received Band 8.5
This is an exceptionally strong response that expertly highlights overall trends and supports them with precise numerical details. Data grouping is logical, transition signals are seamless, and the grammatical structures are sophisticated and error-free throughout. To reach perfection, double-check minor visual figures to ensure total data accuracy across all reported points.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The response presents a clear, comprehensive overview and accurately compares key trends across all seven activities.
Verify final-year figure details closely to avoid minor numerical slips, such as misreading the final DVD figure as 12 instead of 10.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is logically organized into well-structured paragraphs grouped by general upward and downward trends.
Maintain this high standard of cohesive planning and paragraph progression in future tasks.
Lexical Resource
A wide range of precise, natural vocabulary is used fluently to describe data trends and changes over time.
Continue employing varied lexical collocations and precise task-specific vocabulary naturally.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Grammar and punctuation are controlled seamlessly with a wide variety of accurate complex sentence patterns.
Sustain this level of natural grammatical variety and precision across different Task 1 formats.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The bar chart below shows the hours per week that teenagers spend doing certain activities in Chester from 2002 to 2007
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.