The chart below shows the top ten countries with the highest spending on travel in 2014.
Sample Response
The given bar graph lists the top ten countries in terms of their travel-related spending in 2014. It also shows the amount of money spent by travellers in those countries in the same year.
Generally speaking, China was on the top of the list while the US and Germany were in the second and thirst positions respectively.
In details, China, with its approximately 110 billion USD spending in 2014 ranked at the top of the list of top-ten consumer spending countries in the world for the year 2014. Thereupon, the United States and Germany stood at the second the third positions with roughly 85 billion dollar spending. However, it is noticeable that, even though the United Kingdom was in fourth place, it spent only 58 billion dollar, which was nearly half of Chinese spending. Singapore, South Korea, and Hong Kong’s spending on travel were nearly 20 billion USD in this year. Indian expenditure was somewhat more than that of Malaysia and Taiwan. Indian spent almost 17 billion which was 7 billion hither than Taiwan. Taiwan stood at the last position of the list with its 10 million spendings.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Wrong preposition Original: on Suggested revision: at Why it matters: Use the fixed expression 'at the top' for a ranking.
- 2. Spelling error Original: thirst Suggested revision: third Why it matters: The ordinal number is misspelled.
- 3. Fixed expression Original: details Suggested revision: detail Why it matters: The standard transition is the singular expression 'in detail'.
- 4. Remove possessive Original: with its approximately Suggested revision: with approximately Why it matters: The possessive determiner makes this measurement phrase ungrammatical.
- 5. Clarify ranking Original: top-ten consumer spending countries Suggested revision: countries by travel spending Why it matters: The original phrase does not clearly identify travel as the ranked expenditure.
- 6. Use clear sequencing Original: Thereupon Suggested revision: Next Why it matters: This transition more naturally introduces the countries immediately below China.
- 7. Repair coordination Original: at the second the third positions Suggested revision: in second and third place Why it matters: The two rankings need a coordinating conjunction and a natural position phrase.
- 8. Natural measurement phrase Original: 85 billion dollar spending Suggested revision: spending of roughly 85 billion dollars Why it matters: This wording correctly forms the plural unit and expenditure phrase.
- 9. Correct UK figure Original: 58 billion dollar Suggested revision: 55 billion dollars Why it matters: The chart places United Kingdom spending at about 55 billion USD.
- 10. Use possessive form Original: Chinese Suggested revision: China's Why it matters: The country's possessive form is needed to identify its expenditure.
- 11. Use country possessive Original: Indian Suggested revision: India's Why it matters: Use the country name in the possessive form rather than the adjective for its spending.
- 12. Use country noun Original: Indian Suggested revision: India Why it matters: The subject must be the country noun rather than the adjective for its people.
Suggested Rewrites
- on at
- thirst third
- details detail
- with its approximately with approximately
- top-ten consumer spending countries countries by travel spending
- Thereupon Next
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response’s strongest feature is its clear overview and broad coverage of all ten countries, with most rankings and approximate figures accurately reported. Its main weakness is precision: several awkward word choices and grammatical errors reduce control, and Taiwan’s figure is incorrectly given in millions rather than billions. Prioritise checking units and comparative wording against the chart, then edit article, agreement, and word-form errors.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
A clear overview and generally accurate coverage identify the main ranking and nearly all country figures, although Taiwan’s unit is seriously misstated.
Check every unit against the chart and highlight the pronounced fall from the leading three countries to the remaining group.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction, overview, and detail paragraph create clear progression, though some linking expressions are awkward or imprecise.
Use straightforward sequencing and comparison links instead of forced transitions such as ‘Thereupon’.
Lexical Resource
The response shows sufficient range for rankings and expenditure, but several spelling, word-choice, and word-form errors reduce precision.
Replace inaccurate forms such as ‘thirst’, ‘hither’, and ‘spendings’ with precise comparative and expenditure vocabulary.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of sentence forms communicates the comparisons clearly, but errors with articles, agreement, plurals, and sentence structure recur.
Proofread noun phrases and clauses for missing articles, correct plural forms, and complete coordination.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The chart below shows the top ten countries with the highest spending on travel in 2014.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.