The bar chart below provides information about the top ten rice producing countries in the world in 2015. Top ten rice producers in the world in 2015
Sample Response
The bar graph lists down the global top ten rice producing countries in 2015 in a chronological order and the production is given in thousand tons. Overall, China and India crowned the top two positions while Japan ended on the tenth. It is evident that China produced the highest quantity of rice in 2015 and topped the global list of rice producing nations with its over 140 million tons rice assembly. The second top position was held by India with over 100 million tons. Indonesia and Bangladesh grew around 35 million tons and occupied the third and fourth places respectively in this list. It is worth noticing that China and India cumulatively produced far more rice than the rest of the countries did in 2015. Vietnam’s production stood at nearly 28 million tons, which was almost half of Indonesia’s production in this year. Each country - Thailand, Burma, the Philippines, Brazil and Japan - yielded less than 20 million tons, though Thailand’s production was higher than the subsequent countries. Finally, Brazil and Japan’s rice production were the lowest among the listed countries with around 10 million tons each.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove redundant particle Original: lists down Suggested revision: lists Why it matters: List is transitive here, so down is unnecessary.
- 2. Identify ordering correctly Original: chronological order Suggested revision: descending order of production Why it matters: The bars are ordered by output from highest to lowest, not by time.
- 3. Fix verb construction Original: China and India crowned the top two positions Suggested revision: China and India occupied the top two positions Why it matters: Countries occupy positions; they do not crown positions.
- 4. Use ranking language Original: Japan ended on the tenth Suggested revision: Japan ranked tenth Why it matters: Ranked tenth is the natural expression for a country's place in a list.
- 5. Use production phrase Original: its over 140 million tons rice assembly Suggested revision: production of just over 140 million tons Why it matters: Rice production is the correct term, whereas rice assembly is not idiomatic.
- 6. Correct proportion Original: almost half of Indonesia’s production Suggested revision: about 70% of Indonesia’s production Why it matters: The chart shows roughly 28 million tons for Vietnam and 40 million for Indonesia.
- 7. Clarify ranking reference Original: the subsequent countries Suggested revision: the countries listed below it Why it matters: This wording makes clear that the comparison concerns lower-ranked producers.
- 8. Fix subject agreement Original: Brazil and Japan’s rice production were Suggested revision: The rice production figures for Brazil and Japan were Why it matters: The plural subject figures correctly agrees with were and refers separately to both countries.
- 9. Correct final values Original: around 10 million tons each Suggested revision: under 10 million tons each Why it matters: Both bars finish below the 10-million-ton level on the chart.
- 10. Hyphenate compound modifier Original: rice producing countries Suggested revision: rice-producing countries Why it matters: The compound modifier before countries should be hyphenated.
- 11. Use plural unit phrase Original: in thousand tons Suggested revision: in thousands of tons Why it matters: Thousands of tons is the standard expression for the chart's unit.
- 12. Use concise ranking phrase Original: The second top position Suggested revision: Second place Why it matters: Second place is more natural and concise than second top position.
Suggested Rewrites
- lists down lists
- chronological order descending order of production
- China and India crowned the top two positions China and India occupied the top two positions
- Japan ended on the tenth Japan ranked tenth
- its over 140 million tons rice assembly production of just over 140 million tons
- almost half of Indonesia’s production about 70% of Indonesia’s production
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response identifies the ranking clearly, covers all ten producers, and makes useful comparisons between the leading and lower-output countries. Its main limitation is precision: Vietnam’s output is not almost half of Indonesia’s, and phrases such as rice assembly and chronological order misrepresent or obscure the chart. Prioritise exact comparisons from the scale and use conventional production vocabulary throughout.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The report identifies the main ranking and covers every country, but the Vietnam–Indonesia comparison is inaccurate and some values are only loosely reported.
Verify each comparison against the scale and state that Vietnam produced roughly two-thirds to three-quarters as much rice as Indonesia.
Coherence and Cohesion
The report follows the descending ranking coherently and uses clear transitions, though all information is compressed into one paragraph.
Use a separate overview and divide details into the two leaders and the remaining lower-producing countries.
Lexical Resource
There is a reasonable range of comparison vocabulary, but several choices are imprecise or unnatural, including chronological order, crowned, and rice assembly.
Use conventional chart language such as descending order, ranked first, and rice production.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Sentence forms show some variety and meaning remains clear, but article, agreement, and noun-phrase errors occur repeatedly.
Edit complex noun phrases and subject–verb agreement, especially forms such as were ranked and production was.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The bar chart below provides information about the top ten rice producing countries in the world in 2015. Top ten rice producers in the world in 2015
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.