The graph below shows the number of inquiries received by the Tourist Information Office in one city over six months in 2011.
Sample Response
The line chart displays the number of inquiries collected by the Tourist Information Office in a city from January to June 2011.
Overall, In January, more inquiries were received over a telephone calls and by letter. However, those acquired through telephone increased to the second highest n June, inquires sent through letters/email is the lowest of the three as those obtained in person started lowest and was the highest in the end.
At the beginning of the year, many people choose to send in their inquiries over telephone calls or by letter/email at around 900 and just below 800, respectively. More investigations were received by telephone as it increased to the second highest in June as 1600 people called the office. In contrast, fewer people sent letters or mail to the hospital as it dropped to the lowest of the three at just below 400 in June. Fewer people made their inquiries at slightly above 400 in January, but by June, most people chose to inquire from the office in person, with around 1800 people turning up.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use accurate verb Original: collected Suggested revision: received Why it matters: An office receives inquiries; it does not normally collect them.
- 2. Fix capitalization Original: In Suggested revision: in Why it matters: A word following a comma within the same sentence should not be capitalized here.
- 3. Fix telephone phrase Original: over a telephone calls Suggested revision: by telephone Why it matters: The original combines an incorrect preposition, article, and plural noun.
- 4. Use correct preposition Original: through Suggested revision: by Why it matters: The chart's communication method is naturally expressed as 'by telephone'.
- 5. Restore missing letter Original: n Suggested revision: in Why it matters: The month phrase requires the preposition 'in'.
- 6. Fix form and agreement Original: inquires sent through letters/email is Suggested revision: inquiries sent by letter/email were Why it matters: This corrects the noun form, preposition, plural agreement, and past tense.
- 7. Add level phrase Original: started lowest Suggested revision: started at the lowest level Why it matters: A position in a ranking requires 'at the lowest level'.
- 8. Use concise endpoint Original: was the highest in the end Suggested revision: ended at the highest level Why it matters: This expresses the final ranking more directly and naturally.
- 9. Use past tense Original: choose Suggested revision: chose Why it matters: The report describes data from 2011, so the verb should be in the past tense.
- 10. Use natural collocation Original: send in their inquiries Suggested revision: make inquiries Why it matters: 'Make inquiries' is the more natural collocation in this context.
- 11. Use method phrase Original: over telephone calls Suggested revision: by telephone Why it matters: The communication channel should be described as 'by telephone'.
- 12. Keep the correct noun Original: investigations Suggested revision: inquiries Why it matters: The graph counts requests for information, not investigations.
Suggested Rewrites
- collected received
- In in
- over a telephone calls by telephone
- through by
- n in
- inquires sent through letters/email is inquiries sent by letter/email were
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response identifies the broad final ranking and supplies relevant start and end figures, so the main movement of each series is generally understandable. However, the overview is grammatically tangled and the description omits important intermediate patterns, while several word-choice and sentence-control errors reduce precision. Prioritise a clean two-sentence overview, then describe the key changes across the six months with accurate terms and controlled grammar.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The main starting and finishing positions are identified with mostly accurate figures, but important intermediate changes are omitted and one reference incorrectly mentions a hospital.
Include the telephone dip and plateau and explain when in-person inquiries overtook the other methods, using the office as the correct setting.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction, overview, and details form a recognisable structure, though the overloaded overview sentence obscures the comparison and the body compresses several trends together.
Divide the overview into two clear sentences and group each series' movement into logically sequenced comparisons.
Lexical Resource
The response shows an adequate range for reporting data, but inaccurate choices such as investigations, hospital, and inquire from reduce precision.
Use consistent chart language such as inquiries received, by telephone, and in person instead of substituting imprecise terms.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts varied sentence structures, but frequent agreement, article, tense, and sentence-boundary errors weaken control and sometimes slow understanding.
Prioritise complete sentences with consistent past tense and accurate subject-verb agreement, especially in the overview.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph below shows the number of inquiries received by the Tourist Information Office in one city over six months in 2011.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.