The plans below show the room layouts for training sessions for up to ten people and more than ten people.
This response is estimated at Band 6.0. Can you write a better one?
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Sample Response
The plans illustrate the room layouts for training sessions for up to ten people and more than ten people.
Overall, both plans have the same furniturefurnitures in the room, except the number of desks and normal chairs. However,On the other hand, they show the different ways to place the furniture items.different furnitures.
In terms of Planplan A, the presenter's chair is located in the northwest of the room, while in Plan B,while in the plan B, it is in the center of the room. Furthermore, the white board in Plan Awhite board in the plan A is near the chair, toin the right of the chair, whereas it is behindin the back of the chair in the plan B. Moreover, the morningmoring tea is in the south of the room in Plan A,room in the plan A, but it is in the northwest of the room in Plan B.room in the plan B.
The desks and normal chairs are the biggest differences between these two plans. Firstly, the number of desks is 10 in Planplan A, while the figure for plan B is 9. Besides, there are 10 normal chairs in Plan A,chairs in the plan A, but there are 12 normal chairs shown around two desk clusters in Plan B.there are 12 normal chairs in plan B. In addition,Subsequently, the desks in Plan Athe desks in the plan A are in the center, but thetha position of those in plan B are in the south of the room.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response effectively covers the main spatial changes between the two room layouts and provides a clear overview of the key differences. However, the report suffers from inaccurate desk counts and repetitive phrasing across paragraphs. To improve, focus on double-checking visual details and refining prepositional accuracy alongside article usage.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The main layout features and an overall overview are present, though there are minor inaccuracies in the desk counts for the second plan.
Verify numerical details carefully against the diagram to ensure all count comparisons are fully accurate.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is arranged in a clear paragraph structure, but cohesive transition words are occasionally used mechanically.
Vary linking expressions and combine related sentences to create a smoother, more natural flow.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary conveys the spatial descriptions adequately, though repetitive terms and spelling slips occur.
Incorporate a wider range of spatial and comparative vocabulary while ensuring uncountable nouns like furniture remain singular.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Frequent errors in article usage and prepositions of location noticeable throughout the essay detract from grammatical control.
Practice correct prepositional phrases such as 'on the right' and eliminate superfluous articles before plan names.