The chart below shows the sales of handmade olive oil soaps to tourists in Turkey in 2015.
Sample Response
The line graph reveals data on the sales amount of handmade olive oil soaps which were sold to the tourists in Turkey in 2015. The sale amount is given in million lira. It is obvious that the highest sales were made in March 2015 while the average sales amount per month ranged from 100 to 200 million lira. Getting back to the details, Turkish olive oil soap makers sold soaps of 200 million Lira to the visitors in January 2015 which skyrocketed to 350 million Lira in March. The sales amount nosedived in the subsequent months and the drop continued until the July when it dipped to just over 100 million sales amount. During this time each month's sale declined by 50 million lira. Sales in August went up and it recorded twice as much sales amount as it was in the last month only to decline in the next month. With a slight increase, the sales amount nearly touched the 200 million lira again in December.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix number agreement Original: sale amount is Suggested revision: sales are Why it matters: The plural noun and verb form create the natural structure for reporting the figures.
- 2. Correct the unit phrase Original: in million lira Suggested revision: in millions of Turkish lira Why it matters: The unit is conventionally expressed as “millions of Turkish lira.”
- 3. Report sales value Original: sold soaps of 200 million Lira Suggested revision: recorded sales of 200 million lira Why it matters: The figure represents the value of sales, not a quantity of soaps.
- 4. Clarify the reference Original: which skyrocketed to 350 million Lira Suggested revision: and this figure rose sharply to 350 million lira Why it matters: This wording gives the rise a clear numerical referent and avoids an exaggerated verb.
- 5. Remove incorrect article Original: the drop continued until the July Suggested revision: the decline continued until July Why it matters: Month names do not take “the” in this time expression.
- 6. Use the correct unit Original: just over 100 million sales amount Suggested revision: just over 100 million lira Why it matters: The chart measures monetary value in lira rather than a “sales amount” unit.
- 7. Use natural data language Original: the sales amount nearly touched the 200 million lira Suggested revision: sales nearly reached 200 million lira Why it matters: “Reached” is the appropriate verb for a value approaching a level, without an article before the figure.
- 8. Use concise chart language Original: reveals data on the sales amount of Suggested revision: shows the sales of Why it matters: This concise phrase reports the graph's subject without redundant wording.
- 9. Simplify the modifier Original: which were sold to the tourists Suggested revision: sold to tourists Why it matters: The reduced relative clause is clearer, and tourists are referenced generally without an article.
- 10. Mark the overview Original: It is obvious that Suggested revision: Overall, Why it matters: An explicit overview marker is more appropriate than claiming the trend is obvious.
- 11. Use logical transition Original: Getting back to the details Suggested revision: Turning to the details Why it matters: “Back” is illogical because this is the first detailed discussion.
- 12. Match task wording Original: to the visitors Suggested revision: to tourists Why it matters: Tourists are discussed as a general group, so the definite article is unnecessary.
Suggested Rewrites
- sale amount is sales are
- in million lira in millions of Turkish lira
- sold soaps of 200 million Lira recorded sales of 200 million lira
- which skyrocketed to 350 million Lira and this figure rose sharply to 350 million lira
- the drop continued until the July the decline continued until July
- just over 100 million sales amount just over 100 million lira
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response follows the yearly movement clearly, identifies March as the peak, and uses a suitable range of trend vocabulary. However, the overview misstates the scale of the monthly values and some changes are overgeneralised, especially the claim that every fall to July was 50 million lira. Check each plotted figure carefully and describe approximate changes with precise, natural phrasing.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The main peak and broad sequence of rises and falls are covered, but the overview's stated range is inaccurate and several monthly changes lack precision.
Give an accurate overview of the 125-to-350-million range and verify the differing falls between March and July.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response follows a clear chronological progression with generally effective linking, though presenting everything in one paragraph limits organisation.
Use a separate overview and divide the monthly detail into early-year and later-year periods.
Lexical Resource
There is a good range of trend language, but repeated use of sales amount and several unnatural collocations reduce lexical control.
Replace repetitive phrases with precise alternatives such as sales, revenue, the figure, and sales rose to.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex sentences are attempted successfully and meaning remains clear, although article, comparison, and clause-structure errors recur.
Edit structures such as until July and twice the previous month's figure for greater grammatical accuracy.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The chart below shows the sales of handmade olive oil soaps to tourists in Turkey in 2015.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.