The bar chart below shows the estimated sales of jeans for two companies next year in Turkey. The pie chart shows the projected market share of the two companies in jeans at the end of next year.
This response is estimated at Band 7.5. Can you write a better one?
Write yours and get clear feedback on all four criteria.
- Closest to official scores
- What to fix on each criterion
- Feedback in about 20 seconds · free
Sample Response
The bar chart shows the estimated sales of jeans in thousands of pairs for two companies in Turkey next year.
It is anticipated that purchases of jeans at Mango Co. will rise from 150,000 pairs in January to approximately 500,000 pairs in August, and will remain there until November. InFor December, sales are expected to be in the region of 600,000 pairs.
Meanwhile, it is estimated that the sales of jeans for Jack & Jones Co. will begin the year at around 450,000 pairs in January, falling to about 250,000 in Februaryfalling to about 250,000, before increasing to around 400,000 in June. For the next two months until August, sales are forecast to remain steady at this level, after which they are expected to rise overallsteadily to hit a peak of approximately 900,000 pairs in December.
The pie chart shows that, at the end of next year, the anticipated market share for Mango Co. and Jack & Jones Co. is 20% and 30% respectively.
As can be seen from the chart, the overall sales trends for both companies are forecast to rise overallare forecast to be upwards.
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response is strongest in its clear, accurate description of the monthly sales trajectories, supported by well-chosen figures and controlled language. Its main limitation is incomplete synthesis of the visuals: it gives little direct comparison between the companies and omits the largest pie-chart segment, the 50% share held by others. The highest priority is to build the overview around those cross-series comparisons and the complete market-share picture.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The monthly trends and both companies' market shares are reported accurately, but direct comparisons are limited and the 50% Others segment is omitted.
Include the largest pie-chart category and highlight when Jack & Jones leads, when Mango briefly overtakes it, and how their year-end sales differ.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is logically sequenced, clearly paragraphed and smoothly connected from one company and visual to the next.
Place a fuller overview immediately after the introduction so the detailed paragraphs develop its principal comparisons.
Lexical Resource
A wide range of precise trend vocabulary is used naturally, with only a few slightly awkward choices such as purchases at a company.
Prefer sales by a company and continue varying forecast language without sacrificing precision.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex time clauses, participial structures and passive forecast forms are handled accurately, with only rare minor lapses.
Keep compound subjects and their verbs consistently plural, especially when reporting the two market shares together.