The chart below shows how much money is spent in the budget on different sectors by the UAE government in 2015.
Sample Response
The given pie chart illustrates that the UAE administration had distributed how much money on various Sector’s grants over 2015. Furthermore, the total government grant was 315 billion Emirati dirhams.
As we can see at first sight that the Arab government spend the highest 100 million dirhams on the security department in order to ensure their citizen’s security. In the same year, The education and defence sector of UAE had been allocated 38 billion and 22 billion AED, respectively. Whilst, the grant of debt interest was acquired 23 billion dirhams which were the same as the other expenditure budgets.
On the other hand, it is observed, in the UAE, the transport department was received the lowest grant from their national government’s budget, which accounted for 2 billion AED. Furthermore, the second-highest budget was health and personal Sector comprised 53 billion as it was more crucial in the Arab countries. In order to while maintain heritage sites and residential regions, the UAE administration allocated a 15 billion grant which was closely followed by a 17 billion budget for the law and order division.
Overall, it can be seen that the first preference of the UAE government was their people’s security and health. In contrast, the transport division had less budget than any other sectors.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use budget terminology Original: grant Suggested revision: expenditure Why it matters: The chart presents budget spending rather than a grant awarded by the government.
- 2. Remove faulty clause Original: As we can see at first sight that Suggested revision: At first sight, Why it matters: The original opening combines two incompatible clause structures.
- 3. Name the government Original: Arab Suggested revision: UAE Why it matters: The chart specifically concerns the UAE government, not an unspecified Arab government.
- 4. Use past tense Original: spend Suggested revision: spent Why it matters: The response describes a completed budget in 2015, so past tense is required.
- 5. Correct amount and phrasing Original: the highest 100 million dirhams Suggested revision: the largest amount, AED 100 billion, Why it matters: Social security received AED 100 billion, not 100 million, and it was the largest allocation.
- 6. Use the sector label Original: the security department Suggested revision: social security Why it matters: The largest slice is labelled social security in the chart.
- 7. Fix pronoun and possessive Original: their citizen’s security Suggested revision: its citizens’ security Why it matters: Government is singular here, and the plural possessive citizens’ is required.
- 8. Use plural sectors Original: sector Suggested revision: sectors Why it matters: Education and defence are two separate sectors, so the head noun must be plural.
- 9. Add the article Original: of UAE Suggested revision: in the UAE Why it matters: The country name requires the definite article, and in is the natural preposition here.
- 10. Use simple passive Original: had been allocated 38 billion Suggested revision: were allocated 38 billion Why it matters: Simple past passive fits the completed 2015 allocations and agrees with the plural subject.
- 11. Use a sentence connector Original: Whilst Suggested revision: Meanwhile Why it matters: Whilst cannot stand alone with a comma as a sentence adverb.
- 12. Fix the allocation verb Original: the grant of debt interest was acquired Suggested revision: debt interest was allocated Why it matters: A budget amount is allocated to a category rather than acquired by it.
Suggested Rewrites
- grant expenditure
- As we can see at first sight that At first sight,
- Arab UAE
- spend spent
- the highest 100 million dirhams the largest amount, AED 100 billion,
- the security department social security
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response identifies the largest and smallest allocations and reports several middle-ranking sectors, giving the reader a broadly understandable picture of the budget. Accuracy and language control are the main constraints: social security and transport are misstated, one sector is omitted, and frequent grammatical and collocational errors weaken precision. Check every unit and value against the chart, then describe comparisons in simpler, fully controlled sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The overview identifies the main extremes and several figures are correct, but social security is given in millions, transport is misstated, and the AED 13 billion sector is omitted.
Verify every figure and unit, include industry, agriculture and employment, and avoid unsupported explanations about why funds were allocated.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response follows a recognisable introduction-detail-overview structure, but some linking expressions are mechanical or illogical and comparisons are unevenly grouped.
Group the largest, middle and smallest allocations together and use contrast markers only where the figures genuinely contrast.
Lexical Resource
There is some range for budgets and allocation, but frequent inaccurate collocations such as 'grant was acquired' and 'department was received' reduce clarity.
Use a small set of accurate budget expressions consistently, including 'was allocated', 'accounted for' and 'the allocation to'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Meaning is usually recoverable, but frequent errors in agreement, articles, possessives and clause construction limit grammatical control.
Build shorter sentences around one clear subject and verb, then check agreement and passive forms before adding subordinate clauses.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The chart below shows how much money is spent in the budget on different sectors by the UAE government in 2015.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.