The chart below shows how much money is spent in the budget on different sectors by the UAE government in 2000.
Sample Response
The given pie chart depicts the national expenditure of UAE on ten variant sectors in the year 2000.
Overall, the country invests more money on social security as opposed to this transportation was the last contributed sector.
In the year 2000, the UAE government allocated 100 million AED for social security, while more than half of this figure was devoted to health and personal development, approximately 53 billion AED. The lowest amount of money the country invested in the transportation facilities was exactly half the amount of money accounted for in law and order.
The money invested on debt interest and other expenditures were similar, which was 23billion AED, while one billion was less than in the case of defense. The government spent 38 and 15 billion AED on the educational sector and housing heritage and environment, respectively, while 13 billion AED was devoted to industry, agriculture, and the environment.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix possessive form Original: national expenditure of UAE Suggested revision: UAE government’s expenditure Why it matters: Use a possessive construction to identify whose expenditure is shown.
- 2. Use correct adjective Original: variant Suggested revision: different Why it matters: “Variant” is not the natural adjective for distinct budget sectors.
- 3. Correct unit Original: 100 million AED Suggested revision: AED 100 billion Why it matters: The chart gives social security expenditure as AED 100 billion.
- 4. Use chart label Original: personal development Suggested revision: personal social services Why it matters: The chart category is health and personal social services.
- 5. Format currency clearly Original: approximately 53 billion AED Suggested revision: approximately AED 53 billion Why it matters: Place the currency abbreviation before the amount for clear, consistent formatting.
- 6. Use concise noun Original: The lowest amount of money Suggested revision: The smallest allocation Why it matters: “Allocation” concisely expresses an amount assigned in a government budget.
- 7. Fix spending phrase Original: the country invested in the transportation facilities Suggested revision: the government spent on transport Why it matters: Use “spend on” for budget expenditure and the chart’s sector label “transport.”
- 8. Qualify comparison Original: exactly half Suggested revision: just over half Why it matters: Transport receives AED 9 billion, which is slightly more than half of the AED 17 billion for law and order.
- 9. Use allocation phrase Original: amount of money accounted for in law and order Suggested revision: amount allocated to law and order Why it matters: Budget money is allocated to a sector rather than accounted for in it.
- 10. Fix comparison grammar Original: The money invested on debt interest and other expenditures were similar Suggested revision: The amounts spent on debt interest and other expenditure were equal Why it matters: Use a plural countable subject and the correct “spent on” construction for the two equal allocations.
- 11. Clarify equal amounts Original: which was 23billion AED Suggested revision: at AED 23 billion each Why it matters: “Each” makes clear that both sectors received the same amount.
- 12. Reverse comparison Original: while one billion was less than in the case of defense Suggested revision: while defense received AED 1 billion less Why it matters: The chart shows AED 22 billion for defense, one billion less than each AED 23 billion allocation.
Suggested Rewrites
- national expenditure of UAE UAE government’s expenditure
- variant different
- 100 million AED AED 100 billion
- personal development personal social services
- approximately 53 billion AED approximately AED 53 billion
- The lowest amount of money The smallest allocation
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response's strongest feature is its concise overview, which correctly identifies social security as the largest allocation and transport as the smallest, followed by coverage of most sectors. The principal limitation is data accuracy: social security is given in millions instead of billions, one comparison is overstated, and employment is mislabeled. Prioritize checking units, category names, and exact numerical relationships before describing comparisons.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
A clear overview and several relevant figures address the task, but errors in units, category naming, and numerical comparison reduce accuracy.
Correct social security to AED 100 billion, retain 'employment' in the industry category, and describe AED 9 billion as approximately half of AED 17 billion.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is logically divided into an introduction, overview, and two detail paragraphs, with generally clear progression despite a few awkward links.
Organize the detail paragraphs by larger and smaller allocations so the comparisons form a more systematic sequence.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary shows adequate range for reporting expenditure, although several collocations and labels are inaccurate, including 'variant sectors' and 'last contributed sector.'
Use conventional expressions such as 'different sectors,' 'smallest allocation,' and 'spending on' consistently.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Simple and complex forms are both attempted, but agreement, article, preposition, and clause-control errors occur regularly while meaning remains mostly clear.
Review comparative clauses and subject-verb agreement, especially when linking two expenditure figures in one sentence.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The chart below shows how much money is spent in the budget on different sectors by the UAE government in 2000.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.